We were always told that we could do anything we wanted when we grew up. Usually that means you end up being sign-flipper for a used car dealership but sometimes it can make you some serious money. These are actual jobs that prove it.
1. Blunt Roller
In September of last year rapper Waka Flocka Flame got tired of having to roll his own blunts before getting high so he announced that he was searching for his own personal roller. We’re not sure if full benefits were offered, but the salary was $50,000 a year. Not a bad deal when you consider you’d just be hanging out with rappers and smoking weed all day. Unfortunately Waka Flocka said the position had been filled by someone he considers an expert in the art. He claimed Seth Rogen was hired for the job.
2. Human Scarecrow
Some crows are just too intelligent to be scared away by a bunch of old clothes stuffed with straw; that’s where you come in. The pay isn’t great, but all you have to do is sit in the middle of a field and exist, so complaining about pay might be a bit much. A man in Britain took the job in 2012 and simply sat around playing the ukulele all day. Name one other job where you could get away with even bringing a ukulele to work without immediately being fired. You can’t do it.
In an effort to figure out better vaccines to the flu, the government offered $3000 to anyone who would allow them to infect them with the flu in order to study them and test treatments on them. Each participant is required to stay isolated in the hospital for nine days while being closely monitored, but you’re probably going to end up getting sick anyway, so why not get paid for it?
4. Luxury House Sitter
House sitting is ridiculously easy. You feed the cat, check the mail, and don’t die. That’s basically it. If you can crack into the upper tier of homeowners who need a house sitter, you could make several hundred dollars per week, but you’ll have no bills of your own. You’re getting paid to live in houses that you’d never be able to afford. Not a bad deal at all.
5. Professional Apologizer
In Japan, you can hire someone to apologize for you. They’ll go to the person you’ve offended and offer a personal apology, or if you’d prefer, they can just make a phone call. The services range from $33 to $240, so if you don’t mind groveling to a stranger this could be a perfect career choice for you.
6. Professional Snuggler
Have you ever wanted to just stay in and snuggle all day? You could be making money doing just that. A professional snuggler can make around $60 an hour with no romantic or sexual innuendos whatsoever. It’s just two strangers lying in a bed spooning for an hour. What could possibly be weird with that besides pretty much everything?
7. Furniture Tester
While computers can replace many jobs, if you need that personal touch and evaluation, you have to go to an actual human. That’s why it’s not too late for you to pursue a career in furniture testing. You’ll be asked to do daunting tasks like sit in a chair or lie on a bed and give your feedback. The average salary for letting manufacturers know how comfortable their chairs are starts out around $30,000 a year.
8. Human Advertising
Instead of spending money to put that Nike logo across your chest, why not let them put a permanent one there and pay you for it? Companies will pay thousands of dollars for you to put their name on your body for the rest of your life. That’s definitely worth it though, right? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?
9. Submarine Cook
Working in a restaurant can be a grueling task that often pays much less than the amount of work should merit. Don’t worry; if you can put in a few years of experience as a cook on land, you can make low six figures working as a cook on a submarine. If you don’t get seasick or claustrophobic, you could be pulling in around $180K to $200K doing the same thing you’re doing now…only under water.
10. Sleep Study Participant
Have you ever overslept for work? What if I told you there was a job that you could never oversleep for and you’d actually be encouraged to sleep on the job? Companies need to test sleeping pills and different sorts of sleeping disorders, so they’ll pay participants to come in and have their sleep patterns and cycles studied. It may not be the career your mom can brag to the neighbors about, but it’s a glorious job that you’ve always…dreamed of having. Get it? Dreamed of having. Never mind.