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10 of the Craziest Ballot Initiatives from the 2016 Election Season

10 of the Craziest Ballot Initiatives from the 2016 Election Season: Jimmy Anderson / Getty Images

Jimmy Anderson / Getty Images

There are hot button issues that are highly discussed and debated during election season, but for every major, life-changing issue, there are dozens of lesser proposals that don’t even make it onto the ballot. You can see everything that’s being proposed in each state on Ballotpedia, if you really want, but we did the work for you and found 10 of the most bizarre initiatives. God bless America.

1) ARIZONA
Legalize All Drugs

Arizona decided that legalized marijuana was nowhere near enough, so someone tried to get the legalization of ALL drugs onto the ballot. What does that include, you ask? Cocaine, meth, heroin, LSD, peyote, and, of course, marijuana (for the lightweights.) It didn’t get on the ballot for some shocking reason. I’m sure voters were very excited about legalized meth. Maybe next year.

2) CALIFORNIA
Sodomite Suppression Initiative

If you think we’re living in an accepting, loving society, guess again. In California a proposal was made that read: “The measure, upon voter approval, would have mandated California to put to death any person who ‘willingly touches another person of the same gender for purposes of sexual gratification.’” The initiative classifies this group of people as “sodomites.” That’s right, they wanted the death penalty for anyone that happens to be gay. Don’t worry. The next proposal is a fantastic rebuttal.

3) CALIFORNIA
“Intolerant Jackass” Initiative

Not only was it shut down, the previous initiative was also countered with the “Intolerant Jackass” Initiative that stated any person that advocates the killing of gays must go to a sensitivity training and donate money to a pro-gay organization. Nice. Of course if they followed through with it there’s also a law against that. What’s it called? Oh right, murder.

4) WASHINGTON
The Horse Meat Initiative

Maybe I don’t keep up with elections as closely as I should, because Washington didn’t just bring up horse meat, they also refused to make processing it or selling it for human consumption illegal. Is this really something locals were defending or at the very least were on the fence about? Sorry about that, Washington horses. You might want to take your horse vacations somewhere else.

5) CALIFORNIA
The Shellfish Suppression Initiative

I’m not even going to comment on this. I’m just going to give you information directly from the proposed ballot.

The Official Summary: “Makes sale or consumption of shellfish a serious felony punishable by a $666,000 fine per occurrence and/or prison sentence of up to six years, six months, and six days.”

Statute Text: a) Shellfish are a monstrous evil that Almighty God, giver of freedom and liberty, commands us in Leviticus to suppress. They also smell bad.
b) For the purposes of this act, shellfish shall be defined as including crab, lobster, crayfish, shrimp and prawns, in addition to any and all other species identified as shellfish under California’s Health and Safety Code as enforced.
c) Any person who willingly consumes or sells shellfish is guilty of a felony, and shall be fined $666 thousand per occurrence, and/or imprisoned up to 6 years, 6 months, and 6 days.

6) HAWAII
Lower Voting Age to Sixteen Amendment

Multiple states have had groups propose to lower the drinking age and voting age, because why wouldn’t we want children being able to have a few drinks and make decisions on public leaders? Shockingly none of the petitions made it onto any state’s ballot, so for now teenagers can focus on who to take to the prom instead of trying to pass legislations.

7) CALIFORNIA
Holocaust Denial Speech Restrictions Initiative

This one is bizarre because I can’t believe there are still people teaching that the Holocaust never happened in schools. Are YouTube commenters being hired as professors now? The initiative didn’t make it onto the ballot, but if you’re insane enough to think the Holocaust never happened, a law probably wouldn’t have stopped you from shouting your nonsense anyway.

8) MISSOURI
Felon Voter Amendment

Somehow an amendment that would allow felons in prison to vote wasn’t passed. Why this was a surprise in any way is beyond me. You’re telling me the people that we don’t trust to be a part of society or make the simplest choices on their own shouldn’t be allowed to share their opinion on the leader of the free world? Truly shocking.

9) UTAH
Party Candidate Selection Amendment

You know how we vote to choose a candidate from a political party? A couple of Utah Senators wanted to change it to where the political party itself gets to decide who’s on the ballot. It doesn’t seem like the absolute worst idea until you hear Senator Scott Jenkins argue it. He said the party should be able to choose whomever they want. “If we want to draw straws, then we should be able to draw straws.” Hmm, probably not the best way to sell your idea, Scott.

10) CALIFORNIA
“Six Californias”

You really should read up on the proposed ballot items every year because they’re truly remarkable. Timothy Draper, one of the investors in Skype and Hotmail, suggested that California be split into six different states. The states would be West California, South California, Silicon Valley, Central California, North California, and Jefferson. Those opposing it talked about how it would destroy the local economies and the water supply would turn it into a desert. Draper was quoted saying: “We’ve gone from, in effect, a very free country to one where it’s moving toward, I guess it’s slavery… When you work for your government, when your government forces you to do something, it’s slavery. We need to take it back.” Can’t wait to visit West California!

HONORABLE MENTION: CALIFORNIA
Ferret Legalization Initiative

Did you know it’s illegal to own a ferret in California? Well it is and as long as the corporate fat cats have their way it’ll still be illegal. The petitioners were able to get around 10,000 signatures, but it wasn’t enough to get it on the ballot. Sigh, maybe next election. #FreeTheFerret2016

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