If you grew up with older siblings, the world was a completely different experience for you. Your parents went all out on the first kid, both good and bad, and you got to skip the practice round. Some things your parents weren’t as excited about and sort of phoned it in, but other things they made up their mind that they weren’t going to make the same mistake again and got really overbearing about. Here are 10 things you never got to experience as a younger sibling.
1. Getting to Scare the Crap Out of Your Sibling
You know what’s the best part of being an older sibling? Telling your little brother and sister terrifying horror stories that totally aren’t true, but will haunt their dreams for years to come. Why is that fun? If anyone else did that to them you’d murder them, but for some reason an older sibling looks at it as a rites of passage or something. Younger siblings never get to do that. The scariest thing you can do as a younger sibling is threaten to tell on your older sibling if you caught them sneaking out late one night.
2. Inappropriate Movie Scenes
Oh so you have to cover my eyes every time there might be a boob onscreen? That’s if you’re lucky enough to even be allowed in the room during a movie above your age range. If your older sibling has already seen it they’ll alert your parents and you’ll be stuck watching a Pixar movie for the 800th time.
3. Doing Something New
Congrats on your first steps. Too bad your parents have already seen that trick. Dada and mama? They’ve heard it all before. You’re basically the terrible remake of a beloved movie. You’re the Jackie Earle Haley version of A Nightmare on Elm Street? Don’t remember that one? That’s because, just like all your childhood accomplishments it’s completely forgettable and no one really noticed it when it happened.
4. Hanging Out With the Older, Cool Kids
The older, cool kids were always at your house, but not to see you. They were hanging out with your brother and if you even thought about joining in the conversation or being in the same room, you’d get screamed at like Meat Loaf standing on the porch in Fight Club. The worst thing that could happen is if your mom MADE your older sibling and their friends hang out with you because you then became the anchor to the party ship. That is, unless you were hot and the opposite gender of your sibling. Then it was much more miserable for them than you.
5. A Week Without Being Put in Some Form of a Wrestling Hold
Even if your sibling never watched a single wrestling event, somehow they knew a different submission hold every week and insisted on applying it to you. If you didn’t cry, they just kept doing it and if you did cry they’d yell at you for being a baby and trying to get them in trouble. You basically had to become Royce Gracie to survive.
6. New Clothes
Oh this outfit? Well you probably recognize it from the years your older sibling wore it. The only hope you had was that you only had one older sibling of the opposite sex because then your parents sort of had to buy you new clothes or just really gender-neutral outfits that would work for both. If that’s the case then enjoy your Nike sweatpants and solid colored t-shirts!
7. Having a Teacher for the First Time
You might think it’s an advantage to have a teacher your sibling has already experienced because maybe they can give you some tips and ways to get on their good side. Not the case. Instead, the teacher is either going to assume you’re an idiot just like your older brother or they’re going to assume you’re a low key genius like your older sister and hold you to an impossible standard you’ll never reach. Congratulations, you’re in junior high hell!
8. Getting to Make Any Decisions When Your Parents Weren’t Around
When you’re a teenager and your parents leave, you get to be in charge. It’s awesome. When you’re the youngest and your parents leave, you now get stupid fake mom and dad played by your older brother. He’s two years older. It’s not like he’s a learned professor that’s CPR certified. He’s still in your math class because he can’t figure out long division. Is this really who you want making decisions for you?
9. Having a Baby Book
There are 74,082, 553 photos of your oldest sibling by himself. There are 9 photos of you by yourself.
10. Missing a Funeral
Let’s get really dark here and the end with a thought that probably never entered your mind, but will now torment you for years to come. The youngest member of the family statistically has the best chance to live the longest, but all that means is you’ll get to experience the sadness of losing everyone closest to you. What a time to be alive!