Everyone who has had a phone for more than 24 hours has sent a sext. For the uninitiated, is a text, about sex. It’s that simple. But not all sexts are the same. We asked 15 ladies to tell us about the worst sext they’ve ever received and how we as sexters can improve our textular technique.

1. “Do you want to come over and play boom boom?”
I was hooking up with a guy for four years and he had no game, just a beautiful face. If you aren’t man enough to say what it is you want to do then you aren’t man enough to actually do it or do it well.

Don’t be cheesy because nothing is less attractive than a guy with no charm. Be playful with inside jokes so it’s somewhat meaningful and doesn’t come across as a line you found in a Google search.

- Alice, 24

2. “I want to feel your vagina.”
CRINGE. It’s not a bio exam. Such a turn off. Be more confident with your words. Don’t tell me what you want to do, tell me what you’re going to do. Taking control is sexy and heightens the anticipation.

- Jessica, 25

3. “I’m gonna rub my D all over your face.” Ummm in what world? I respected his take charge attitude, but nothing about having you’re junk rubbed on my face is sexy. He also sent this message in reply to me saying, “I’ve been thinking about kissing you all day. It’s hard to focus on my work.” Let the girl’s aggressiveness drive the conversation.

- Gigi, 27

4. “Waiting on this emissions test and thinking how I want to bust all over your face”
This charmer sent this message 12 hours after our first date, a date that went well and ended with a hug. Don’t send messages like this to a girl you’ve just started seeing. I’d save freaky stuff like that for someone you’ve been in a relationship with for awhile, someone you’re absolutely sure enjoys something like that. A nice message like, “I’m kicking myself for not kissing you last night. I wont make that mistake again.” would’ve guaranteed him another date.

- Lainey, 21

5. *dick pic*
We don’t ever want your random dick pic. Especially you guys that don’t even send a nicely groomed one. A nice six-pack leading down to a v cut is about as much as we’ll take when it comes to randomly sent pictures.

- Chelsea, 20

6. “Wanna sit on my face, I hear it’s soft”
What’s soft, your face? Now I’m picturing you with a marshmallow head and it’s not doing you any favors. Lines don’t work, just be real.

- Nichole, 29

7. *a POV video of self masturbating*
There is nothing sexy about someone’s manhood being yanked around under your shaky iPhone camera. Another guy detailed how he would pee on me and while inside of me, I couldn’t even comprehend how messy that was, let alone not-sexy. It definitely killed the mood.”

- Kelly, 27

8. “I’d like 2 go dwn on u 4 a little if ur into that stuff.”
As an avid fan of the sext, dirty talk, I think the most important tip is to figure out if the girl is even into dirty talking. Some women find it crude while others love it. Save the dick pics and tailor it to what you know she’s into. I would save mentioning more obscure or taboo fetishes for the bedroom, you wouldn’t want to be the victim of an Instagram screenshot. Also, good grammar never hurts “Cant wait to b inside u” makes me roll my eyes while “I cant wait to be inside of you.” makes me bite my lips.

- Juliette, 24

9. “Oh yeah, baby, daddy likes that.”
BARF some guys feel awkward, uncomfortable or shy when it comes to sexting and it shows through text. It’s definitely something that has to flow naturally. If he’s struggling to express what he wants to do you through text how is he going to do it in the bedroom? Usually it means he’s a selfish lover, just looking for a quick hit and quit.

- Brianna, 25

10. “I can do whatever you’d like done to you.”
Be a man, don’t tell us what you think we want to hear, fully unleash your desires. Tempt us with words, it will go much further than a close up of your dick. Nine times out of ten a girl wants a dominating male. If it’s someone you’re already sleeping with you have no limits. Don’t send a picture saying, “Do you want that dick?” or, “I want your pussy so badly.” tell her something like, “I’m going to bend you over and enter you slowly.” We are visual, but prefer details to build an image (ever heard of romantic novels?). The more details the more likely the panties will drop.

- Amber, 31

11. “I’ll buy you anything you want, mami, if you make me cum.”
How about not talking to me like I’m a prostitute?

- Melanie, 23

12. “hehe ok”
After sending him a very detailed text with everything I wanted to do to him (that may have also included a picture) this was the response that he came up with after 20 minutes. I was immediately over it and we ended up just cuddling a little bit while watching movies that night.

“Ok” is an awful reply to any message someone has put a lot of time into, especially one that takes a lot of confidence. If you receive a sext try to put a little more effort into your reply. The sender is opening up to you, in more than one way. Be courteous.

-Eve, 28

13. *something stolen from the internet.*
He sent me a very romantic and well written sext. I was extremely impressed and turned on, but this guy wasn’t exactly the poet type so I copy and pasted what he wrote into Google and found out that it was actually a Tumblr post another guy wrote. I sent him a screenshot of the Tumblr page, deleted his number and followed the original author on Tumblr, we’ve exchanged a few messages.

- Jessica, 30

14. “Rian, I’ve been wanting to grab you by the neck, pull you in and kiss you with all the passion I have inside of me. I’ll work my way down your neck to your chest….”
My name’s Abbie. I later found out he copy and pasted the same sext to a few of my friends, one being Rian.

- Abbie (not Rian), 22

15. “If I was there right now what would we be doing?”
This is the go-to sext for lazy men. These guys want to sext, but lack the imagination to do it, so they hand control of the conversation over to you. Did you see that, they hand control over to us – that’s the last thing I want from a man in the bedroom. Tell me exactly what you’re going to do to make me feel good. Make me turn off the Netflix Gilmore Girls binge I’ve been watching off and glue my eyes to my iPhone.

- Jocelyn, 26