I worked in the restaurant business for many years. One time, while working at BBQ place in the middle of the city, a “not-quite-homeless” guy comes in. He looks a tad on the mangy side, but it’s Alabama. He sits down, without being sat by our hostess, and I proceed to try and take his order. All he wants is a glass of ice. I bring it to him, hoping he will finish it and leave. He proceeds to pour both types of BBQ sauce (one very spicy) over the ice, drink it in record time, then grunts and walks out. Below we’ve compiled some more absurd restaurant requests from Reddit for your enjoyment.
I was bartending at an Applebee’s. We had all kinds of smoothies and daiquiris on the menu. One day, a lady ordered a mango daiquiri, I made it, delivered it, she drank about 1/3 of it. Then asked if there was real mango in it. I told her it was a concentrate, but yes it has real mango it. She panics and tells me “I can’t drink this! I’m allergic to mango!”
It was a busy lunch rush on a hot summer day, so the AC was blasting but not enough to keep the whole room cool. Add to this the fact that all the servers are running around as fast as they can in order to take care of each tables every desire. So, one lady at my table approached me at the computer while I was putting in their order. She asked me if I could stop sweating.
TAKE ME TO JAIL
Had a guy who got furious at me for not having a cloth under his burger the way it does on the menu to make it look nice. He called me out saying it was “false advertising” and threatened to call the cops.
I once had a woman order a burger and request that I take the lettuce, tomato and onion that come with the burger and chop it into a side salad for her. It was 99 cents extra to add an ALL YOU CAN EAT SALAD BAR to her order, but she insisted I take the single slice of tomato, the single slice of iceberg lettuce and the single circle of red onion and make her a side salad. So I did, and I charged her $1 dollar for the side of ranch dressing.
I worked at Red Lobster in Canada for a number of years. There’s a live lobster tank for fresh full lobsters if you want to pay a little extra. Usually the customer assumes you’ll just pick one and cook it up for them, but I had a gentleman ask if he could handpick it from the tank himself. No problem. He picks one up, examines it, and proceeds to sing some foreign operatic aria to the damn thing in front of the whole restaurant. Not a word in English, no idea what he was saying to it, but damn if the poor lobster didn’t near shed a tear. Then he was boiled and thoroughly enjoyed of course.
Once I had a family get pissed at me because we didn’t have any pillows or blankets in the back for grandpa who was ‘cold and very uncomfortable’. It’s a restaurant not a hotel.
I had a customer complain that the rotisserie chicken had too many bones.
I DESERVE BETTER
I used to wait tables at a local golf course. I once had a customer ask us to make the shelled mussels less time consuming, but was adamant that they should not be taken out of their shell. Then, to top it off, asked that his lamb not taste like lamb. When we informed him that we would be unable to accommodate these requests, he asked for a free gift card for the “Inconvenience.”
IT’S THE SIZE THAT COUNTS
A woman requested a ramekin of fryer oil. She wanted to dunk her food in lard, explaining that, “it would make her boobs bigger…”
WELL DONE I SAID
I used to work Saturdays at a French restaurant and a guy once asked me to make sure his steak tartare was “well-done”. When I explained that it’s served raw, he said he was going to “get us done” by the Food Standards Agency.
MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE
A rough and tumble gentleman came in and asked me to show him our largest glass. I brought out a beer stein that held ~32 oz. He looked up and down and said, “that’ll do”, and then asked me to fill it to the brim with chocolate milk.
My very first day a lady asked for, “Nachos in a cup.” I told her that wasn’t on the menu, and the container we use for nachos is way bigger than the biggest cup. She got irate and said money isn’t an issue and, “just put some f-cking chips in a cup and cover it with cheese.” I asked the manager, and he told me charge her double for the special order. I told her it’d be around $15 to do this, she gave me a $20 and said keep it. I filled the large drink cup about halfway with chips, then poured cheese in there until it was almost full, dunked some chicken slices, put the lid on, then handed it to her. The absurd request: she asked for a straw.
WHAT IS THIS SLUDGE?
We had a regular who would order a small coffee with 12 creams and 6 sugars. Which left room from approximately 1 oz of coffee. Regularly she would complain that she could not taste the coffee.
BY THE BATHROOM PLEASE
I knew this customer was going to be a good one. They requested to sit somewhere that didn’t smell of food.
OR A COLD COFFEE?
An older gentleman asked me for hot orange juice.
“I will give you a good tip if you chew up my mozzarella sticks and feed them to me like a baby bird."