As the New York Observor’s Matthew Kassel put it in his article on online dating, we are living in the “age of the never ending first date.” Dating apps invite us to meet many more people for a potentially romantic encounter than ever before. Thus, sophisticated readers, when you go on a first date, whether it’s with a Tinder random or a coworker, you must be properly prepared to come across as the attractive, fascinating person that you are.
So, here are 10 Things not to do on a first date:
- Ask, “So, How long have you been on OKCupid?”
- Eat noodles. They’re Messy, they splatter, they’re stressful.
- Send a dick pic from the bathroom.
- Talk about how high your standards are.
- Show up, see your date and stand her up because your date does not look like her online picture. They’re pictures! Nobody looks like them.
- Apologize for not looking like your picture. It’s one thing to be a liar. It’s another thing to admit to it.
- Have sex. I’m sorry. I’m old-fashioned. I just don’t think it’s a good idea. If you like somebody enough to have sex with them on a Friday you’re going to want to have sex with them on a Tuesday just the same. Unless you just want to have sex, then you should have sex. But don’t expect anybody to stick around for bagels, coffee, or meeting your parents.
- Check your text messages.
- Ask your date to confirm his/her sex/gender.
- Go to a movie. The cinema deserves your full attention. As does your date.
And here are 10 things to do for a great first date:
- Go for a walk. There is nothing less sexy than being locked into a two-hour conversation with a stranger across a steak. Unless that stranger is George Clooney or Jennifer Lawrence. You’ll be so nervous that you’ll drink all the wine, start talking about your daddy issues, credit card debt and affinity for argyle and spend half the date in the bathroom. Instead, go for a stroll somewhere outside. Pick a neighborhood, a park –hell, any sidewalk will do–and stroll.
- Ask questions, but don’t interview. So often we find ourselves pressed for time in a first-date scenario. We get nervous and feel we must get to know everything about our date and ironically, just end up talking about ourselves the whole time. Find something that YOU think is interesting about this person and get curious. It will encourage them to do the same to you.
- Drink. It helps! (unless you are an alcoholic…)
- Imagine the other person naked.
- Have somewhere (real or fake) to be later. You just …you never know.
- Meet people with their friends. We fall in love with people’s contexts as much as we fall in love with them.
- Suggest doing something you love—music, skateboarding, biking, museum, drinking wine. Whatever. Don’t expect your date to be good at it but be honest about how you spend your time. People are sexiest when they’re doing things they love.
- Kiss. It gives you a lot of intel.
- Flirt. With your date, with the napkin, with the waiter. It’s a lost art and it means nothing and everything.
- Ask yourself: If this was the last date I ever went on, what would I do? Then do it.
Have a question for Katherine about sex, love or dating? Shoot her a note at firstname.lastname@example.org.