33 A.D.
Judas Iscariot betrays his buddy Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.

1959
The world’s first self-tanner, Man-Tan, hits shelves, making douches look like tangerines.

1982
A friend of his older brother calls Elliott a “douche” in E.T. It’s one of the first times the word is used on-screen.

1988
Parisian nightclub Les Bains Douches invents the concept of bottle service. (True story.)

1992
The Real World premieres on MTV. By the end of the decade, 94 percent of all douchebags will have appeared on reality television.

2002
Dr. Phil gets his own TV show.

2003
Dane Cook releases his first CD, Harmful If Swallowed, which goes platinum.

2004
Britney Spears marries her backup dancer, a deadbeat dad with cornrows. The line between decency and douchery is briefly known as the Feder Line.

2004
Later that year, early adopter Jon Stewart names conservative columnist Robert Novak the Douchebag of Liberty.

2006
HotChicksWithDouchebags.com launches.

2006
Jack Dorsey sends the world’s first tweet. #douchemove

2007
Jon & Kate Plus 8 debuts on the Discovery Health Channel, introducing America to Jon Gosselin’s collection of Ed Hardy T-shirts. The show remains on the air for seven seasons.

2008
Gawker claims “douchebag” is over and calls for a replacement. The site’s readers nominate “asshat.” It does not catch on.

2009
Kanye West interrupts 19-year-old Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards.

2013
Dennis Rodman parties with Kim Jong-un in North Korea. Twice. On the second visit, he is kicked out of his hotel for deucing in the hallway.

2014
A 200-year-old douche is discovered under City Hall in New York.

{{asset:14}}

Find Playboy’s Guide to the Modern American Douche here