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2000 Years of Douchebags: An Abridged History

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33 A.D.
Judas Iscariot betrays his buddy Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.

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1959
The world’s first self-tanner, Man-Tan, hits shelves, making douches look like tangerines.

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1982
A friend of his older brother calls Elliott a “douche” in E.T. It’s one of the first times the word is used on-screen.

1988
Parisian nightclub Les Bains Douches invents the concept of bottle service. (True story.)

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1992
The Real World premieres on MTV. By the end of the decade, 94 percent of all douchebags will have appeared on reality television.

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2002
Dr. Phil gets his own TV show.

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2003
Dane Cook releases his first CD, Harmful If Swallowed, which goes platinum.

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2004
Britney Spears marries her backup dancer, a deadbeat dad with cornrows. The line between decency and douchery is briefly known as the Feder Line.

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2004
Later that year, early adopter Jon Stewart names conservative columnist Robert Novak the Douchebag of Liberty.

2006
HotChicksWithDouchebags.com launches.

2006
Jack Dorsey sends the world’s first tweet. #douchemove

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2007
Jon & Kate Plus 8 debuts on the Discovery Health Channel, introducing America to Jon Gosselin’s collection of Ed Hardy T-shirts. The show remains on the air for seven seasons.

2008
Gawker claims “douchebag” is over and calls for a replacement. The site’s readers nominate “asshat.” It does not catch on.

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2009
Kanye West interrupts 19-year-old Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards.

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2013
Dennis Rodman parties with Kim Jong-un in North Korea. Twice. On the second visit, he is kicked out of his hotel for deucing in the hallway.

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2014
A 200-year-old douche is discovered under City Hall in New York.

Find Playboy’s Guide to the Modern American Douche here

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