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The 23 Jump Street Movie that Should Have Been

The 23 Jump Street Movie that Should Have Been:

Yesterday, word came down from upon high that the comedy sequel dream we all dream of, a third installment of the 21 Jump Street franchise, is coming our way soon. They’re calling it 23 Jump Street, which seems appropriate enough, and, as promised way at the end of the last movie, the setting this time around is medical school.

So, this is good news? That question mark is not a typo. We’re talking about a franchise and premise that stands a great chance straying into The Hangover territory sooner than later. How many times can you make a movie out of two dudes who look too old for school going undercover at a school?

Hell, are either of them even old enough to be considered too old for medical school? Doesn’t it take a while to get there? This seems like a stretch in every way imaginable.

Oh, and seeing as how it’s set at a medical school, we feel compelled to add this: If this movie in any way, shape or form involves zombies, fuck you. People who watch The Walking Dead don’t even like zombies anymore. If Daryl wasn’t possibly becoming television’s next Omar soon, that show would be done.

We digress; back to* Jump Street*. The worst part about this is that the last movie set them up perfectly to completely change the focus of the franchise, but in a way that still works.

See, in the last movie, Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill went undercover at a college instead of a high school. Not much of a twist in and of itself, but the plot provided the opportunity for a decent one down the road.

In order to infiltrate the drug ring or whatever kids are calling them these days, Channing Tatum had to join the football team. And, surprise, he was really good!

With that in mind, instead of sending them to medical school in the next movie and running the risk of turning Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill into the next casualties of Wolfpack syndrome, why not send them to the NFL instead?

Right? It makes sense, doesn’t it? The NFL is riddled with scandals in need of investigating. The idea of sending in two undercover cops disguised as a competent athlete and his agent really wouldn’t be that crazy, especially if your last undercover assignment involved you putting up strong numbers at wide receiver in college.

If nothing else, it makes way more sense than medical school. Also, the premise of “old guys pretending to be young” still works. Channing Tatum is 34-years-old. That’s retirement age in the NFL at most positions. It’s fucking perfect!

Don’t get us wrong, the movie will probably be fine, but damn if we wouldn’t want to see the NFL version way more.

Adam will write this movie for anyone who pays him to. Get at him on Twitter.

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