There are plenty of masterfully written pieces of music that will survive the test of time. There are songs that define a generation and bring hope to a hopeless life. Then there are the songs that are so ridiculous and terrible, but for some reason, you love them with all of your heart. It’s like how you know a grilled steak would be delicious, but sometimes you just want a $1 cheeseburger from a fast food joint. These songs are your $1 cheeseburgers.
50) Phil Collins – “Sussudio”
I wish THIS were the song everyone claimed was about calling out an old acquaintance for causing a drowning. That would be much more fitting.
49) Poison – “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”
Such deep insight by Poison. Their less popular tracks include Every Bee Has A Stinger and Every Burger King Has A Drive-Thru.
48) Gary Wright – “Dream Weaver”
Is the Dream Weaver related to Mr. Sandman in any way? They’re at least cousins, right?
47) Shaggy – “It Wasn’t Me”
Don’t ever let Shaggy represent you in a court of law. Ever.
46) DMX – “(Party) Up In Here”
The radio version was full of so many edits it sounded like a song by the guy from Police Academy.
45) O-Town – “All or Nothing”
You know all the words to the chorus, just admit it.
44) Toto – “Africa”
You don’t even have to be drunk to loudly sing the words to Africa when it comes on at the bar.
43) Sugar Ray - “Fly”
Do you think Mark McGrath knew this was just the beginning of his career as the host of Don’t Forget the Lyrics?
42) The Knack – “My Sharona”
I bet they had to edit out so many lines where the guys tried rhymed Sharona with Boner. “Maybe if we say it with a Boston accent?”
41) City High – “What Would You Do?”
This is my favorite song about confronting a stripper about her life choices and encouraging her to feed her son.
40) Magic! – “Rude”
You may not realize how terrible it is now, but soon you will. You’ll still love it, but you’ll come to terms with it at some point.
39) Lit – “My Own Worst Enemy”
As soon as that guitar kicks in at the beginning, you crank it up. Every. Time.
38) Hinder – “Lips of an Angel”
If he’s cheating on his girlfriend, why he is yelling about it so loudly on the phone. Indoor voice, pal.
37) Motley Crue – “Girls, Girls, Girls”
This is the official anthem to taking body shots.
36) Celine Dion – “All By Myself”
Everyone can hate on Celine all they want, but your hands are going into the air every time she hits a power note. Do you, baby.
35) N’Sync – “Gone”
This was that awkward time for N’Sync when it was obvious Justin was the star and the rest of the guys were just kind of there.
34) Macklemore – “Thrift Shop”
Now that it’s not played on the radio every 9 seconds, you can admit you kind of enjoy it.
33) Ace of Base – “The Sign”
You could put any of Ace of Base’s hit songs on here and they’d work. You’ll always have a special place in our hearts AoB.
32) Hanson – “Mmmbop”
I’m not going to roll down my windows while listening to “Mmmbop”, but you’d better believe as soon as those windows go up, I’m cranking it.
31) Trapt – “Headstrong”
I hate that I love a song that sounds like the theme song to a shock jock’s football segment on a morning radio show.
30) Carly Rae Jepsen – “Call Me Maybe”
It’s so catchy, there should be a vaccination to get it out of your head after hearing it.
29) Crazy Town – “Butterfly”
Why were the guys in the video dressed like hardcore rockers while singing one of the most pop songs of the decade?
28) Boston – “More than a Feeling”
So let me get this straight, it’s a song about how great it is to listen to songs?
27) Jesse McCartney – “Beautiful Soul”
If it comes on the radio, you aren’t skipping it.
26) Macy Gray – “I Try”
I’m still not sure how someone that sounded like Ja Rule with a sinus infection got a music career, but I still love this dumb song.
25) Will Smith – “Wild, Wild, West”
Don’t be mistaken, the Dru Hill part is the only good part of the song. Will Smith’s raps are the worst since he said Ali told him he’s the greatest.
24) Goo Goo Dolls – “Iris”
How many times did you listen to this while looking out a window at the rain after a breakup? A thousand? More?
23) Wham! – “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go”
I’m sorry, but if you hear this song come on, you’re dancing.
22) Taylor Swift – “I Knew You Were Trouble”
If a song is still good after you’ve heard goats singing it, you know it’s going to be around for a while.
21) Aerosmith – “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”
Can you believe this was their first #1 single? What is wrong with the world?
20) Len – “Steal My Sunshine”
Every time that girl spells L-A-T-E-R that week, I fall in love all over again.
19) John Farnham – “You’re the Voice”
I don’t know if this is a song about gun control or self confidence, but I’ll never stop listening to it.
18) D4L – “Laffy Taffy”
If your shoulders don’t start bouncing the second this song comes on, you’re completely dead inside.
17) Incubus – “Pardon Me”
Ah, the early 2000s. We were so innocent and young as the seemingly infinite flood of alternative rock flooded our souls.
16) Europe – “The Final Countdown”
If an MMA fighter made this his entrance song he would win every fight before he even stepped in the cage.
15) Color Me Badd – “I Wanna Sex You Up”
No one knows what it means to “do it till we both wake up” but we just keep singing it. Is that like a sleep apnea?
14) Milli Vanilli – “Blame It on the Rain”
I know Milli Vanilli didn’t sing it, but someone did. Why aren’t those guys touring?
13) Bon Jovi – “Livin’ On A Prayer”
I don’t think you’re allowed to leave the hospital with your child until they know the chorus to this song. That’s a law. Goes double if you’re in Jersey.
12) Def Leppard – “Pour Some Sugar On Me”
This is the national anthem of every lady over 40 wearing leopard print.
11) Rod Stewart – “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?”
It sounds like a fun song, but what if it’s actually an insecure Rod Stewart desperately seeking validation?
10) Nelly feat. Tim McGraw – “Over and Over”
I just want to know whose party it was that had Tim McGraw and Nelly on the guest list for these two to meet and decide to collaborate.
9) Afroman – “Because I Got High”
You’re singing it right now, aren’t you?
8) Spin Doctors – “Two Princes”
There is not a man in the world that wants a girl to give him flowers more than the lead singer of the Spin Doctors.
7) Savage – “Swing”
If you’ve ever fallen asleep while watching the Knocked Up DVD and had this song play for 7 hours while you were sleeping, you know what I’m talking about.
6) Journey – “Don’t Stop Believin’”
It’s like the Pied Piper’s flute for drunk dudes.
5) Kid Rock feat. Sheryl Crow – “Picture”
I don’t think there’s a single Kid Rock or Sheryl Crow song that I listen to, but combine the two together and it’s pure guilty pleasure magic.
4) Paul Simon – “You Can Call Me Al”
I don’t want to call you Al and I certainly don’t want you to call me Betty. Also why is Chevy Chase here?
3) Vanilla Ice – “Ice, Ice Baby”
Remember when he tried to explain how it was totally different than Under Pressure? How did he keep a straight face through that whole interview?
2) Santana - “Smooth”
I saw Santana play this song live and cougars just started floating towards his guitar like a cartoon mouse that smells cheese in the other room. It was amazing.
1) George Michael — “Careless Whisper”
If you need a karaoke song that no one picks, but everyone loves, this is it. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s a masterpiece.