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7 Sex Myths That Aren’t Even Close to True

7 Sex Myths That Aren’t Even Close to True:

Sex. We’ve all done it, some of us more than once. Some of us are even good at it!

There is a lot of information out there about what is ‘good’ and 'bad’ but more importantly, what is true? It’s time to take a real hard look at some of the many bogus things you will hear about sex.

1. YOU SHOULD JOIN THE MILE HIGH CLUB
Wrong. At least one of you needs to be Dhalsim to even make this work. Sure you could sit down on the can, but touch that flush button and your scrotum will be flapping in the jetstream.

Worse than that, there will be a line outside, and they will all know what you just did in there. And they know how shitty it was, because they’ve done it too.

Have a cuddle, watch the movie.

2. MAKE UP SEX IS GREAT
This must be one of the worst lies we tell. Sex after an argument isn’t passionate and sensual; it’s you wondering why she called you 'neurotic and self-obsessed’ and her wondering why you called her 'an insane lady.’

Are you supposed to smile, or act a little sultry? At what point can you bring up the fact that you do know how to load the dishwasher?

3. DON’T HAVE SEX WITH YOUR EX
Again, wrong. Sex with your ex is like putting on an old, comfy pair of jeans, and then dealing with feelings of regret and confusion. Normal.

You both know what the other likes, and more importantly what you don’t. There’s no need to worry about disappointing one another, just take pleasure where you can in this terrible world.

4. WOMEN ARE TURNED ON BY WHAT THEY HEAR
This one is true, TO SOME EXTENT. When people say this, they hardly ever clarify the statement.

Generally, it’s good to stick with compliments, and maybe some details about the things you hope are about to happen. We all know Season 2 of The Wire is the worst one, but that’s more of an 'afterwards’ discussion.

5. FOOD CAN BE INCORPORATED INTO THE BEDROOM, SEXILY
Food and sex should be two separate experiences. No arguments. Food is for eating, sex is for doing. There’s nothing erotic about a lasagne.

Introducing food to the bedroom can be dangerous, as well as idiotic. Your heart beats faster, and you get an unexpected swelling. Are you horny, or are you allergic to strawberries?

6. YOU HAVE TO TRY ROLE-PLAY
Pretending we are someone we’re not is exhausting enough when we do it at work every day. It seems like madness to do it in your free time. But if you’re going to do it, you want to do your best.

So, you slip on the costume (fireman), and get into character. Being a fireman is stressful and dangerous; your mind races with the things you(r character) have (has) seen. The people you couldn’t help.

Clerical worker, now there’s a role that allows for a little 'sexy time’.

7. SOULFUL MUSIC SETS THE MOOD
Marvin Gaye was murdered by his dad; Barry White died obese; D'Angelo is a lot, lot sexier than you. Picking sensual music means navigating death and disappointment, probably in your underwear.

Whatever you end up choosing, it’ll be wrong. Stick with your weird internal monologue.

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