I may very well be breaking some sacred fraternity code by revealing this deep, dark secret, but I am nothing if not a muckraking journalist, so here goes: Back when I was pledging my frat as a naive, wide-eyed college freshman in the fall of 2006, I was subjected to an unspeakable hazing activity: playing real-life Mario Kart in an empty parking lot.
The sadistic senior brothers, those monsters, made us zip around on wooden gym class scooters with balloons tied to our backs as we tried to dodge horrific obstacles, like slippery banana peels. Oh, the banana peels. All these years later, I still lie awake on some nights, restless and sweating, the scars still burning, remembering those peels and questioning whether or not they were worth a lifetime of friendship and camaraderie.
They totally were, because real-life Mario Kart was dope and by far the best event that my non-hazing fraternity threw that fall, and it looks like a more advanced version of the game could be on its way. Per Uproxx, Nintendo recently filed a trademark for the name “Super Nintendo World,” which appears to be its stab at a theme park.
You can view the entire trademark here, but here’s the best little nugget: “…organization, management or arrangement of kart racing,” which can only mean that the titans at Nintendo are taking cues from the brothers of AEPi and finally wisening up to the wonders of real-life Mario Kart, otherwise known as the best party racing videogame of all time.
I hope to see you on DK Jungle Parkway or—God, can you even imagine?—Rainbow Road someday soon.