Sadly, I’ve never been to Oktoberfest, the annual multi-week party that welcomes millions of people to Munich, Germany to drink copious amounts of alcohol. But it’s basically my platonic ideal of a festival, because it combines my three favorite things: beer, more beer and lederhosen. I have been to Mardi Gras, however, and I assume it’s a lot like the New Orleans celebration on a much bigger scale, where you have to reconcile with the fact that you’ll probably step in an assortment of liquids (booze, vomit, urine, bile), be forced to ditch your dirty garments and fly home with a much lighter suitcase and looser moral code than you originally came with.
Adidas recognizes this dilemma, which is why the Bavarian apparel brand is aiming to protect your kicks from carnage with its new Oktoberfest shoes. The limited-edition twist on the classic München silhouette is specifically meant to be worn at the festival, which kicks off September 16. That’s because the shoes come with “DPBR” coating, or “Durable Puke & Beer Repellant,” according to the hype video below. Now you can freely dance on beer-soaked tables and slush your way through piss-and-lager puddles without suffering any long-term consequences.
Clutch as the sneakers are, they’re also seriously stylish, with top-notch brown leather, light brown stripes, and speckled laces to match traditional Bavarian leather pants. The bright, embroidered heels were also inspired by lederhosen, and the red and white micro-check tablecloth lining is designed to add “that special Alpine flavor.” Throw in a golden “prost” above the stripes—that’s German for “cheers”—and you’ve got the best damn pair of drinking shoes ever.
As a bonus, you’ll also get a custom beer mug when you purchase the sneakers, which are available for around $240 at 43einhalb beginning Saturday, September 2. Prost!