RedTube, which hosts a digital library of more than one million sultry videos and receives 20 million visitors every day, is one of the leading online destinations for free explicit content. With a thriving business model and fan base then, it makes sense that the company would want to expand its frontiers and nab more money from horny visitors. So what is RedTube taking on next? Brick-and-mortar sex clubs? A new line of dildos? An online zine? Nope. Try greeting cards. Yes, starting today, RedTube will launch Speak From the Heart, its new adult greeting card e-shop that your grandma hopefully never uses to find your birthday card.
“Whether you are seeking a fun way to commemorate a wedding anniversary or birthday, or you just want to say *thank you *to an intimate friend, RedTube’s ‘Speak From the Heart’ shop has the card to satisfy every occasion. Think of us as the sexy alternative to Hallmark,” RedTube’s VP said.
To be honest, “sexy alternative to Hallmark” is an oxymoron. Even so, RedTube will offer 20 cards for a variety of occasions and sentiments, including birthdays, graduations, anniversaries and holidays. Cards are available for purchase on redtubeshop.com, from where they can also be printed. Because who doesn’t want to print out their own greeting card like it’s 2002?
This decision to enter the greeting card business is interesting and may even just be a PR stunt, considering that greeting cards are no longer the moneymakers they once were. In 2015, Hallmark closed one of its major distribution centers after already having slashed its workforce from 22,000 full-timers to less than half. The global proprietor of good vibes now only employs 10,500 people worldwide. The most prevalent reason for decreased sales, as one might expect, is social media. These channels quickly became faster, cheaper and preferred means of communication.
“In an age of disappointing online dating apps, we all have that friend who has fallen on ‘hard’ times, or perhaps, you know someone with an 18th birthday around the corner; either way, you can now give them a lift with a perfectly matched RedTube card,“ RedTube’s VP said of the new venture. “At their core, greeting cards were made to make people smile, and we believe RedTube’s new selection will do just that…and a whole lot more.”
Admittedly, RedTube’s cards aren’t very funny. But then again, few greeting cards are. Sure, they’re cheeky, but the tongue-in-cheek market is already flooded with specialized card companies that scribe their greetings with dick jokes and lighthearted missives about aging. One of RedTube’s cards, which retail for $5, reads, "To my hubby on Father’s Day…thanks for being such a DILF.” Another reads, “This Christmas I wanna take a ride…on your north pole.” Who gets paid to write this stuff anyway?
Anyway, visit RedTube’s adult greeting card shop here if this turns you on.