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Is It Ever Okay to Send a Dick Pic?:
Advisor

Is It Ever Okay to Send a Dick Pic?

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I matched with a girl on Tinder, and our exchanges have gone from flirtatious to hot. We have yet to meet, but I think that will happen in the near future if I keep playing it right. In the meantime, we’ve been texting a lot at night, and I’m close to doing something I’ve never done before: send a dick pic. If I do, will I be blowing the chance she’ll want to hook up in real life?

When I asked one of my girlfriends if it’s ever okay for a guy to send her a picture of his penis, she responded, “No. Five hundred times no. Question answered.” This knee-jerk reaction isn’t uncommon. You can thank the miscreants who scatter unsolicited dick pics through dating apps and text messages like flyers at a college activities fair for that. You can also thank high-profile snappers Brett Favre and Anthony Weiner. These guys gave dick pics a bad name, and their subsequent public shaming and professional fallout haven’t helped the cause either.

I don’t find unsolicited dick pics offensive, but it all depends on the context—and the recipient. A dick pic can inspire feelings of violation, amusement, attraction or pity. That broad spectrum should let you know just how much opinions vary. For some women it’s the digital equivalent of a flasher in a trench coat. There’s something menacing about a guy wielding his penis like a weapon. It can be violating—and I think in some circumstances that’s the intention. In other instances, I believe it’s harmless exhibitionism. The biological imperative makes sense to me. A quick Google Images search of my name will result in plenty of boob shots, so it would be hypocritical of me to say I don’t get it. And if I had an alien member with a mind of its own attached to my body, I’d probably be showing it off to the world too, like, “Can you believe this fucking thing?”

So is there a time and a place? Absolutely: when a woman specifically requests one from you. Personally, I love well-lit, artful dick pics and solicit them regularly from suitors and lovers alike, who are usually more than happy to oblige. In some cases they aren’t comfortable with it, and that’s fine too.

That being said, there’s always a gray area, such as when you’re flirting and sexting and want to show her how turned on she’s making you. Recently a man and I sexted after meeting at a bar. I sent him a few tasteful nudies that same night. He replied, “You wanna see my cock, baby?” He didn’t assume. He asked. And his timing was perfect. The picture was hot. It was well played. When it comes to exchanging nudes, then, the same rules apply as when you’re having sex. It’s all about communication, consent and mutual respect. After all, a consensual sexy pic isn’t sleazy; it’s foreplay. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind:

1. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that once a woman sees your dick, she’ll want to see it anytime during the day. There’s something jarring about penises when they make surprise appearances in the wild.

2. Do your research before sending a lady your David imitation. The internet has plenty of tips for taking good dick pics. Nothing kills the mood faster than a full-length, badly lit bathroom-mirror selfie with a half chub.

3. Unless she initiates a sexy-pic exchange, don’t ask for one if you don’t plan to reciprocate. Sexting is an exercise in trust. You can’t demand what you’re unwilling to give.

4. I’ll emphasize “specifically requests one” one more time. “What’s up?” is not an invitation for you to send an X-rated selfie. Never send unsolicited dick pics, period. If you don’t know this yet in 2016, you’re the reason they get a bad rap.


Questions? E-mail advisor@playboy.com.


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