Playboy Advisor: Aim to Please with Oral Sex

By Playboy Advisor

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My husband and I have a great sex life, except he wants more blow jobs. I wouldn’t mind, but my mouth, lips and sometimes throat go numb after five minutes. I never had this problem with anyone else. Can you help?—L.C., Minot, North Dakota

Have your lips and mouth gone numb in the same way while licking an ice cream cone? There’s a lesson in that. You don’t have to go fast and furious. In fact, a huge part of the turn-on for a guy, besides eye contact, is thinking—believing—that you’re in no hurry. Keep him well lubed, with lots of slurping and moaning, and use your hands; the mouth-hand job is Advisor approved. At the same time, you could test a technique we learned from Nina Hartley: Give him a blow job every single time he asks, but commit to only five minutes. Go all out, but if he hasn’t come in five, he’s on his own. That may sound cruel, but it’s not if you consider that he will never hear “no” again. Because really, who can’t spare five minutes?

Are women okay with manual stimulation instead of oral sex? I aim to please, but with HPV and herpes all over the place I am reluctant to put my tongue where it doesn’t belong. Women seem to enjoy my nimble hands, but I don’t know if it’s necessary to use my tongue.—S.S., Chicago, Illinois

A woman may be satisfied with your fingering, if fingers are all she’s ever known, but we think you’re both missing out. You’re right to be cautious, as many STDs, including herpes and HPV, can be spread through oral sex. In a study published last year, researchers who tested 5,579 Americans found 10 percent of the men had oral HPV infections, which have been connected to throat cancer. That was nearly three times the number of infected women. It’s not clear why this is the case. Abstinence is the only guaranteed method to avoid exposure, but a thin sheet of latex or polyurethane such as Sheer Glyde Dams works well. In a pinch you can use a condom cut lengthwise; also, plastic wrap is better than nothing (a 1989 study found that Glad wrap blocks the herpes virus). Any barrier will decrease sensitivity, but everything has a trade-off. You could trust your partner to inform you if she has HPV, but she may not know. The virus is so common that nearly every sexually active adult eventually becomes a carrier.


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