Q:I recently started dating a great woman I’ve known for a while through friends, but we’ve been serious for only a few weeks. She’s friendly and easy to be around, but because she’s so laid-back, we haven’t defined boundaries yet. I want to introduce her to my family at Thanksgiving, but I don’t want it to be a big deal. How early is too early to invite someone over for the holiday?—L.K., Encino, California

A:You can bring someone to Thanksgiving dinner the day after you meet them. It’s the perfect holiday for strays; Friendsgiving is based on this very idea. If you’re going to bring a new love interest home for a holiday, Thanksgiving is the best one. That said, if I brought someone home for any holiday, my family would assume we were getting married, because I never bring anyone home. If you’re bringing her because she has nowhere else to go, and your family isn’t eager to hear wedding bells, then that’s cool. But if you’re bringing her home to formally introduce her as your girlfriend before you’ve had “the talk,” that’s not cool. That can lead to all kinds of misunderstandings and disappointment; for example, she may feel it’s too much, too soon. Only you can assess this situation. If she’s as chill as you describe, perhaps no conversation is in order. If you’re starting to fall in love and want to know how she feels about you, have a chat before adding family into the mix.


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