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Amy Schumer Says, ‘I’m 160 Pounds and Can Catch a Dick Whenever I Want’

Amy Schumer Says, ‘I’m 160 Pounds and Can Catch a Dick Whenever I Want’: AmySchumer.com

AmySchumer.com

Amy Schumer’s been getting a lot of attention lately for her groundbreaking sketches on her show Inside Amy Schumer, a lot of which focus on her experience as a female comedian. With a new movie coming out this year, Schumer was given Glamour UK’s 2015 Trailblazer award. Her acceptance speech was absolutely hilarious.

First she talked about her experience going through puberty:

“I didn’t lose my two front teeth until I was in 5th grade, which is late. And that very same week, I got my period. Which is early. So I was just this jack-o-lantern with tits walking around, and I had one of those moms that was like, ‘You don’t need to shave above your knees.’”

Then she discussed how most magazines shoot female comedians:

Every comic in the room knows that when a female comic has a photo shoot, they’re like, “Oh, can we hold this plastic dick over your head? We’re gonna shoot actual cum out of it onto your head.” They’re like, “You’re gonna be a cum dumpster,” and you’re like, “Thank you for having me!” But Glamour is the first magazine that was just like, “Smile!”

Then, in her most noteworthy quote, Schumer discussed her weight and our society’s obsession with it by saying the following:

“I’m probably like 160 pounds right now and I can catch a dick whenever I want, like, that’s the truth. It’s not a problem!”

If “catch a dick” isn’t the most popular phrase of 2015, then we’ve failed as society. Seriously, that’s an awesome way to say “getting laid” if you’re a woman.

You can watch the rest of her speech here:

Catching vaginas doesn’t really have the same pop…


Joseph Misulonas is an editorial assistant for Playboy.com. He can be found on Twitter at @jmisulonas.

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