Amy Sedaris: 20Q

The ill mind behind Strangers With Candy talks about trying to bed Matthew Broderick, arguing with children, how to get an all-over tan and why comedy just isn't pretty

Q1

PLAYBOY: In the Comedy Central sitcom Strangers With Candy, you played Jerri Blank, a 46-year-old prostitute and junkie who returns to high school. Why did you choose such a hideous-looking character for your first starring role?
SEDARIS: Because it's funny. I wanted her to be even uglier. My original idea was for her to be covered with really bad track marks, from all the drugs she shot up over the years, but Comedy Central was a little nervous about that. So we gave her a turtleneck so you couldn't see the scars. If I don't look different, I'm not convinced that I'm somebody different. I can't get lost in that character. It's fun to pretend to be somebody else, somebody who is nothing like me. Jerri is so overtly sexual, and she does things that are so outrageous and offensive. I'd never be able to act that way in my own skin, but I like living vicariously through her. When people come to my house, they expect to see Jerri Blank. Usually I'm in an apron and I'm doing something really domestic like baking. They expect something else from me. Well, sorry. I'm not Jerri. I've never done heroin. I don't sleep around. I didn't have a hooker period. Well, not yet, anyway.

Q2

PLAYBOY: You're starring in a feature-length movie based on Strangers With Candy. Without the restrictions of TV, you could be as shocking and offensive as you wanted. Are we right to be a little afraid?
SEDARIS: The movie is pretty tame, actually. Maybe now that we can do whatever we want, it's not as interesting to see how much we can get away with. Comedy Central actually gave us a lot of freedom with the TV show. They only censored us a few times. We couldn't say "pussy" until the third or fourth episode, but we could say "faggot" right away. We had a line about a "filthy Jew diary" and we had to change it to "dirty Jew diary." And we couldn't have a midget albino on the show. Other than that, there wasn't a whole lot that they wouldn't let us do. It's not like we were waiting for the chance to swear or do something really graphic. For the movie, our only concern was staying true to the characters. We didn't set out to shock anyone. If people find it shocking, that's great, but we didn't go out of our way to do it.

Q3

PLAYBOY: Strangers With Candy is a parody of after-school specials. Were you a fan of these specials when you were growing up?
SEDARIS: Oh, yeah. But I liked them for all the wrong reasons. I thought they were hilarious. I'd race home from school just to watch them and think, "Thank God my family's not like that." I couldn't relate to anybody on these shows, but I was still fascinated by them. I really loved that Jennifer Jason Leigh one called The Best Little Girl in the World, which was about a girl dealing with anorexia. I thought it was so funny. We tried to follow the same formula for Strangers With Candy. Jerri had a different problem every week that she had to deal with, just like with any after-school special. We did everything from illiteracy to teen pregnancy. But in the end, she'd always learn the wrong lesson. The moral would be something like, "selling drugs is a good way to make friends."

Q4

PLAYBOY: Reruns of the show now play only early in the mornings on Comedy Central, where it's watched mostly by stoners and insomniacs. Wasn't that your target audience anyway?
SEDARIS: I guess it was. I really do love our fans. They're such oddballs. Every time I meet them, it's like the carnival has come to town. These are people who could light cigarettes with their feet. They're carnies. My brother once told me, "I can always tell when it's one of your fans, 'cause they're ugly." And it's true. But they've been so kind and sweet to me. And they send me weird gifts all the time. One of my fans made me a sock monkey that looks just like Jerri Blank, and I used it in the Strangers With Candy film. You can see it in several scenes. It's really freaky-looking.

Q5

PLAYBOY: You've been a frequent guest on David Letterman's Late Show. What's the secret to your chemistry with Letterman? Is it just a little friendly flirting, or a dangerous obsession with the potential to evolve into stalking?
SEDARIS: I've managed to avoid stalking him. We're just friends. I think we get along so well because I don't know him outside of the show. They usually call me at the last minute, so I don't have a lot of time to prepare. I just come out and listen to him and whatever happens happens. It never feels scripted or fake. If I had the chance to think about it beforehand, I'd be wrapped up in my bits, or I'd be responding to something he hadn't asked yet. But it's usually just two people talking. I'm happy to see him, and Dave's happy to see me. And I don't want anything more than that.

Q6

PLAYBOY: Your brother, David, has written some pretty bizarre stories about you in books like Naked and Me Talk Pretty One Day. Was he telling the truth, or did he exaggerate anything for comedic effect?
SEDARIS: It's all true. I'm surprised that he remembers so much of it. He doesn't miss a detail. It never occurred to me that anybody would think it was unusual. I recently read Augusten Burroughs's Running With Scissors, which is about the author's family, and I was so shocked by it. And then I thought, "Oh, that's what people must be thinking when they read David's books. That's why they stare at me in a bookstore." For me, it's just a bunch of family stories. I don't think anything of it. But everybody else sees something completely different. It can be upsetting sometimes, like when people call us a dysfunctional family. We're not at all. We get along and we love each other. What's dysfunctional about that? People think they know us, but they're wrong.

Q7

PLAYBOY: One of the most popular stories involved you wearing a fatty suit to fool your father into thinking you had a weight problem. Are you the only practical joker in the family?
SEDARIS: Not at all. Everybody in my family loves practical jokes. My little brother Paul plays them more than anybody I know. When we come to visit, we're always careful to check our luggage when we leave. He'll put bricks in there, or a frozen salmon, or a pair of his dirty underpants. Every time he stays at my apartment, he puts frosting on the doorknobs. You can't get mad, because it doesn't do you any good. One time, Paul and I put a surveillance camera in the bathroom just to freak out David. And then we threw a coconut into the toilet. Let me tell you, a coconut in toilet water is hilarious. I always assume that everybody acts that way. Whenever I go to anybody's house, I'm surprised that they aren't trying to mess with me. I ask them, "Haven't you ever sat in a butterfly chair and one of your brothers tried to stick you with a straight pin?" They just look at me like I'm crazy.

Q8

PLAYBOY: All of the Off-Broadway plays you've written with your brother Dave have featured misfits like mutilated teenagers and pig-nosed rednecks. What do you love about the inherently unlovable?
SEDARIS: I remember when I was a girl and I saw that first Diane Arbus photography book, Aperture Monograph. It was filled with pictures of freaks, like transvestites and midgets and conjoined twins. It literally changed my life. I would stare at those photos for hours. I never saw people like that in North Carolina, where I grew up. It was so foreign and exciting. And you just don't see people like that in TV shows or movies. You don't get to see people with icky teeth and bad skin and physical deformities. It's hidden from us. You're lucky if you see a fat person. And I love freaks. I think freaks are much more interesting than "normal" people.

Q9

PLAYBOY: Is it possible to be funny and attractive at the same time?
SEDARIS: Not at all. I know so many pretty people who think they're hilarious, and the only reason anybody listens to them is because they're nice to look at. I feel sorry for them. To me, to be really funny, you have to be flawed. You have to be willing to be ugly. That's why Will Ferrell is so brilliant. He's not afraid to be unattractive. The best comics are the ones who embrace their ugly side. I would love to do a movie with Will about nudists. We'd be completely naked through the entire movie, but we'd never mention it or draw attention to it. We're nudists, so we're just accustomed to being naked all the time. We wouldn't think anything of it.

Q10

PLAYBOY: You're good friends with Sarah Jessica Parker, whom you once described as "stingy, crisis-prone, selfish and two-faced." So, how do you feel about your enemies?
SEDARIS: Sarah and I like to mess around with each other. We became friends during rehearsals for a play we were doing together in New York. And then I played her agent on Sex and the City. It started out with leaving messages on each other's answering machines. I pretended that I was having an affair with her husband, Matthew (Broderick). I'd say things like, "Hey, Matthew. It's Amy. I can't wait to see you again." Stuff like that. I'd show up at rehearsals with pictures of the three of us, and I'd have torn out Sarah's face. Or Sarah would walk into a room and I'd quickly hang up the phone, like I'd just been having a conversation with Matthew that I didn't want her to know about. It was a lot of fun, and I kept it going forever. Sarah was a very good sport about it. And the funny thing is, I didn't even know Matthew. When Sarah finally introduced us, I was fumbling and nervous.