20 Awesome Pick-Up Lines that Will Absolutely Not Work

By Wes Van Horn

Share

Photo Credit: Lauren Geiger

Photo Credit: Lauren Geiger

Every guy knows the anxious feeling while approaching an attractive girl at the bar. What do you say to impress her? A million brilliant lines float through your mind before you blurt out, “There’s a party in my pants and you’re invited.” Why is she walking away? You’re drunk! Is she expecting Ernest Hemingway-level eloquence?

Here’s some of the funniest pick-up lines as thought up by Reddit users.

1. anticarma

"Do you know how I got these guns?"
Point to biceps while flexing.
"Lifting children out of poverty."

2. robotwarlordelephant

Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

3. BrodyApproved

Are you the Gulf of Mexico? Because I wanna drill you & make a huge mess.

4. TheChickenIsBurning1

Girl, are you sitting on the F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.

5. jgant33

On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

6. letsconversate

DAMMMMNNNN, girl, you shit wit dat ass?

7. RXL

Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Well the adult females can weigh up to 250 Kg and the adult males as much as 700 Kg. My name is RXL and I fucking love polar bears.

8. Waelgeuge

When I was a girl I used to go for guys like me.

9. ZackOff

Your booty must fly Malaysian airlines because I've been missing it for days.

10. chickenrapist

You look divorced.

11. kch_l

What is your favorite dinosaur?

12. Tenaciousceeee

Why don't you and I head back to my place and do things I'm going to tell my friends we did anyway?

13. Legalsandwich

My mom says any girl would be dumb not to go out with me.

14. deathcampforjewtie

I will light myself on fire if you don't go out with me. Seriously.

15. tango211

If good looks were poop, you'd be that giant pile of Triceratops shit from Jurrasic Park.

16. HoofHearted63

Sex with me is like gun control. No matter how much we talk about it nothing happens because we can't get it to work down south.

17. MeretrixDeBabylone

Are you the terms and conditions? Cus I don't care what you have to say.

18. Synthespock

There'll only be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.

19. NeverFernet

You: Do you have a boyfriend? That's cool, I've got a goldfish.
Her: What?
You: I'm sorry, I just thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter.

20. BlueDesire

My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself.


Share

Playboy Social