Carrie Keagan

Don’t look down. That’s our advice should you ever be invited on the No Good TV (ngtv.com) show Up Close With Carrie Keagan. The curvaceous host’s cleavage has been known to stop celebrities in their tracks. On nerdy comedian types, the Keagan effect is particularly acute: A supertight red top rendered Semi-Pro’s Will Arnett a sputtering idiot. And if the melons don’t get you, the mouth will. Carrie can make anyone drop F-bombs and innuendos. She whipped Tim Meadows, Matt Besser and Chris Parnell of Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story into such a frenzy of graphic penis talk that Parnell looked as though he might lose his lunch. “I think I have the same sense of humor as a lot of these comedians,” Carrie says. “But when it’s coming from a girl with big boobs, it seems a little wrong.” We know what you’re thinking: Enough about the tits already. Hey, she started it. The show opens with an animated Carrie feeling herself up and the tagline “So close you can touch them!” She means the celebrities, of course, and not just males. Comb the NGTV archives and you’ll find both Charlize Theron and Halle Berry—Oscar winners, mind you—saying “Go see my fucking movie.” Fuck yeah.