At this point, I don’t know why anyone does anything. People do things that I later hear about and shake-nod my head because I legitimately don’t know how to react to the world these days.

See, 85,000 U.K. residents changed their name last year—a record for sure, by the way—and, the list now released, the one who caught most folks’ attention was the dude who started going by “Bacon Double Cheeseburger.”

Once the mild-mannered Simon Smith, the now Bacon Double Cheeseburger claims he went with “the first name [he] came up with,” as if any part of you assumed it was for some noble reason of glory.

But don’t be as naive to think that he’s the only wildcard in the deck. No, no, no, in the bunch, there’s also a Penelope Pitstop, a Bruce Wayne, a Happy Birthday, a Sarge Metalfatigue, Simply MyLove Poet, Kenny Roses For Poses, and a Mr. and Mrs. Amazing. However, the honest winner of the entire wacky crew might go to a man whose new name is Michael Connor Lightning Akimbo Wumbo Wigglesworth Pussyfoot Katzenjammer.

By comparison, Bacon Double Cheeseburger rings kind of tame. Just be sure to bring rightful attention to this U.K. hero the next time one of your friends claims to be the most serious foodie ever, because he or she ain’t, not until they change their name anyway.