You can easily become the most popular punk in the neighborhood by growing pot—if it’s the dank greenery, of course. United Kingdom youngblood Joshua Hughes did not grow that, not even a little bit. In fact, his apartment’s weed setup was so forlorn that he avoided jail time because of it.

After his landlord discovered Hughes’s elaborate operation last summer (accidentally while investigating a water leak), Hughes dodged his original six-month sentence because the evidence was pretty obvious that he wasn’t going legit commercial, which later became crystal-clear when all the plants died. Hell, the only reason Hughes did up his gig in the first place was to save on his 20-joint habit a day. But now the world knows he was better at smoking than growing.

See, if your product is bunk, local loadies won’t give your dealership respect, and if your product is really bad, the law won’t either, as it turns out. Even with 40 plants, Hughes couldn’t rock a rep. Hughes’s own defense lawyer claimed that the 20-year-old had “neither the wit, expertise, or dedication to maintain the growth. It was an inept attempt to cultivate for his own use.”

Even the judge burned Hughes with his explana.

This was an incompetent grow from start to finish.

You may have had high expectations and high ideas, but anyone who seeks to produce cannabis will risk a sentence of imprisonment.

I am suspending it because of your early guilty plea, lack of previous convictions and incompetence.

Even the prosecutor agreed, noting no evidence of any successful grow, despite watering, ventilation, and lighting (though the electricity meter had been bypassed). The whole thing’s pretty hard to take. You’d almost expect Hughes to start lying halfway through to save his street cred, hyping something like “verdant fields of the dopest grows you could ever hope to smoke, your honor.” But, alas, it’ll at least be an amusing story at a dinner party someday.