Single or not, everybody hates Valentine’s Day. For singles, it’s an annual reminder that you don’t have somebody special to spend the day with. For those in relationships, it’s a day that puts unnecessary pressure on the other by making them believe their love doesn’t mean shit unless they spend large sums of money at restaurants.
Like it or not, have you ever considered spreading resentment—not love—this Valentine’s Day? Sure, it’s not the most heartwarming idea, but it’s one suggested by Dicks By Mail, which is selling scorned exes clever bags full of phallic gummies. The package also comes with penis confetti so you can “get tiny little penises all over the recipient,” according to the website.
“I think telling an ex to ‘eat a bag of dicks’ is really the only way to communicate to an ex that you’re unhappy with the way a relationship ended,” Dicks By Mail’s marketing manager tells Playboy. “There’s a sort of redemption in knowing that they probably can’t pass up a bag of candy and literally have to eat a bag of dicks.”
The company sold 10,000 bags in its first week after going viral in March 2015 and expects more big numbers in the coming weeks. “A lot of customers send us screenshots of people getting upset on social media [about receiving it],” Dicks By Mail’s rep says. “To be the person laughing on the other end of that computer makes it worth the trouble.”