A barber in Washington, Pa., who might also be the most oblivious man in the world, was fined $750 for refusing to cut a woman’s hair.

The Pennsylvania Bureau of Professional and Occupational Affairs fined John Interval, the owner and proprietor of Barbiere, after an investigator determined he had discriminated against a would-be female patron by denying her service.

Interval spoke with KDKA about the incident, and it was pretty awesome:

I don’t even have [the equipment] to do women’s hair.

OK, depending on what the woman requested, I suppose that’s a valid point, maybe.

I didn’t really consider it so much a discrimination thing as – it’s a barbershop… for guys.

OK, that point’s not going to hold up as well.

You know, I’m not opposed to doing women’s hair. Just not in this shop.

Yeah, that one definitely won’t work.

At first I thought this guy was just an old man, because he sounds like my grandpa (who has been dead for 20 years). But as the following video shows, he’s probably in is early 30’s. It’s like he’s been caught in some sort of hilariously-awesome time warp. Was he just thawed from a cryogenics experiment?

I’m not going to lie. I want this man to cut my hair.

Interval went on to tell KDKA that he plans to pay the fine. He also claims he’s come up with a plan that might make everyone happy.

“I want to open a shop to cater to [women] and no men will be allowed there,” he said. “They’ll have all the champagne and mimosas they want, and that’ll be on the house.”

So separate, but equal? That’s just crazy enough to work! Oh, wait.

This guy’s obliviousness is amazing. Champagne and mimosas. That’s just perfect. Someone tweet that to Lena Dunham. And while you’re at it, get this guy a lawyer and P.R. guy before the state shuts him down.

Or better yet, someone tell him that if a random woman happens to come in once or twice a year, he should just cut her hair and be done with it. Besides, based on the video, I doubt women will be beating down his door anytime soon (unless they are there to protest).

(Source: KDKA Pittsburgh)