If you’re sitting in a barber’s chair and you’ve just heard an “oh shit!” you better hope it wasn’t your stylist or you’ll be wearing hats for a while. We’ve all experienced that nervous laughter after you explain what you want to the hair stylist and buckle up for a haircut. Reddit asked their haircutting users to share their best screw-ups and these are our favorites. More Reddit hair disasters.
I sneezed. Messed that dude up.
BUZZ CUT SUPREME
Wife was a pro stylist and very good at her job. Using the clippers on poor dude when the guard breaks and…buzzed down to the scalp. Guy ended up just having her buzz the whole thing and was a champ about it. But that sound of the clippers suddenly running into way more hair than they were expecting…Definitely an oh shit moment.
Currently in Barber School.
On my first week on the floor I had a young Indian boy (India) and as many stylists and barbers know their hair can be tricky especially the hairline. I had to basically create a brand new one. I gave him the basic kind of slanted L7 and his mom didn’t like it.
She asked me to round it instead. Being new to barbering I was a little apprehensive. I went to grab an instructor for help. All were busy but hey there’s the owner of the school. A man in his mid 40s who’s parents founded the school in the 50s. I know he’s a licensed barber and cosmetologist so I go ask for help.
He comes over and proceeds to push my client’s hairline so that the corner goes basically behind his ear on one side. He looks at it. Knows he messed it up and proceeds to hand me the trimmers and walk away. Leaving me with nothing to say to the 12 year old kind and his mother. “Oh shit”
CANT SPEL GUD
Mostly harmless, but in high school, kids from my class would get haircuts from me. One guy named “Tylar” wanted his name etched into the side of his head. The issue was I’ve only ever known of the name being spelled “Tyler.” He was not pleased with the misspelling.
ULTIMATE BUZZ CUT
So I’m a professional licensed hairstylist. And my biggest OH SHIT moment was actually on my fiancé. We were watching the LOTR trilogy and smoking weed, when he asks for a haircut. I’m like, sure great idea. I’m stoned out of my head and he’s moving around to get a better look at the TV while I’m cutting. I nicked a little piece out of the side of his head and immediately freak out (I’m a bit of a meticulous nut when it comes to cutting and it had been my first real mistake). I go to the bathroom to collect myself and splash some water on my face to get unhigh, so I can fix my fuck up. I come out and he’s got the clippers in his hands. He fucking goes right down the centre of his head (literally like Marshall on his wedding day on HIMYM) WITHOUT THE GUARD ON. HE’S LITERALLY SHAVED BALD DOWN THE CENTER. I fucking lost my shit and bawled while I shaved the rest of his head. He looked like Edward Norton from American History X.
Worst haircut I’ve ever given.
At a mall salon and in charge while the boss was on lunch, a guy came in who was tall and exotic. The other stylist thought he was cute and he asked for a blonde Mohawk. Off they go; he pays and leaves happy. Everything is awesome.
Half an hour later his mother rolls in like a shrieking Panzer. There is obviously a cultural difference because she screeches that I have defiled him like myself (I’m moderately tattooed and at the time had a few facial piercings - and wasn’t the stylist who touched her son’s head) and that he’s 15, and school pictures are next week.
No amount of offers of rinses and buzz cuts was going to calm this woman down. She started knocking the product everywhere and basically howling.
I hit the speed dial for mall cops and left the receiver up on the counter while she had her back turned. The ruckus was loud enough, they got there shortly.
Everything was not awesome.
SLICE N DICE
I was the victim of an Oh shit moment at the barber. He was using a straight razor to get those little hairs on the back of my neck and wound up cutting me pretty good. Like not ambulance bad, but it needed more than styptic powder. He just kind of froze for a minute and all I could think was, “yup. He cut me.” It wasn’t a big deal but I could tell he felt like a dick.
LOW ON TONER
When I was assisting, I used a code phrase with my boss to have her come check something without freaking the client out.
It was, “do you think we should tone this?”
It’s a really common saying in the salon so the clients don’t think anything of it, but her and I both knew that if I was asking, it basically was my way of saying, “oh, shit.”
One day, I take a client to the bowl to shampoo her and start pulling out her foils.
Her hair was coming out with the foils. Like every piece that was in a foil was disconnecting from her head. I was panicking. So I said it. “Do you think this needs a tone?” And of course, this would be the one time where it didn’t click with her and she casually says, “no, it’s good.”
I’m literally sweating. I don’t know shit about hair, but I know it’s supposed to stay attached to the head. So I say it again, but more direct. “Hey (boss), are you sure? Do you want to check this? I think it needs a tone.” And again she brushed it off. Finally, I was like, “I REALLY THINK SHE NEEDS A TONE.” Then the boss took over.
It’s been a few years since I assisted, but my old boss still gives that chick free extensions.
MAGICAL SIDEBURNS DISAPPEARING ACT
I had a chick from Great Clips cut my side burns right the fuck off. No warning. Just edging me up and zzzzzzzp. My face of horror told her she’d fucked up. “Oh you didn’t want me to do that?” Bitch are you insane?
SOAP N JERK
Had a guy start jerking off under his cape while I was shampooing him. The hilarious part, I usually do my clipper over comb work dry, finish up the hairline first, shampoo, then finish the rest of the cut damp. I kicked this guy out of the salon with half-finished hair.
Of course, at first I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but when he saw me looking at the fapping front of the cape, he asked me how much extra for him to be able to finish. I told him $40, he pulled 3 $20’s out and handed them to me. Oooh, a tip! I then did the c'mere finger beckon to the reception desk, walked over to the front door, and chucked 40$ out into the wind, holding the door open for him as he took off after his money. He ran outside like the world’s cheapest Batman, cape billowing to show his junk tenting out the top of his undone jeans. When he finally came back to bang on the door, I held up the 20 and said, “ this is for my time, asshole!” Then sauntered over to pick up the phone and do the ‘I’m calling the cops’ pantomime. It was solid gold.
Since I was alone in the shop at the time (they wouldn’t spring for a receptionist, I was closing that night) my bf at the time stayed on the phone with me while I waited for him came to get me, and we had no trouble on the way home. Told my manager about it the next day, she reviewed the tapes, and was behind me 100% when the guy called to complain that afternoon. Ah, Regis. The Walmart of North American hairdressing. Maybe even the Dollarama?