As fall kicks into high gear, so too does beard-growing season. With temperatures starting to dip, guys want a little extra face warmth. Nothing wrong with that. If you can grow a beard, go for it. But under no condition should you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, adorn your beard with jewelry.
A brand called Krato just launched a Kickstarter campaign for its new line of beard jewelry and it is every bit as cringe-worthy as you might expect. The jewelry features items like skulls, anchors, and crystal studs attached to triangle-shaped spirals that screw securely into your facial hair.
In the Kickstarter description, Krato says that its collection is “dedicated to strong characters who express their individuality in eccentric, yet sophisticated ways” and that the beard is “a perfect canvas of self-expression.” Don’t believe it. Jewel beard is the new glitter beard, which was the new flower beard. It’s hard to pick which of the beard trends is the worst. But the fact that you have to spend real dollars for beard jewels (as opposed to using stuff lying around your house or yard), might give it the edge.
The beard jewels go for between $34 and $39. As of today, Krato had 170 backers for its campaign, with 31 days still to go. That means there are at least 170 people in the world that want to put jewelry in their beards. If you know any of these people, please ghost them immediately.