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7 Genius Ways To Open Your Beer With Your Clothes

7 Genius Ways To Open Your Beer With Your Clothes:

One of the greatest things about summer is the spontaneous party. One minute you’re scrolling Instagram on your couch with no prospects. Then you get the text from your buddy that says, “Beers on the roof at [insert friend with roof deck],” and it’s on. Afternoon cold ones turn into an evening BBQ which then morphs into a late-night dance party, all without anyone making an actual plan.

The downside of that laissez faire attitude is that you can be unprepared. There’s nothing more frustrating than showing up with a six-pack of Pliny The Elder or even Corona (basically anything that isn’t Bud or Miller or Coors) and not being able to crack ‘em open because no one has a bottle opener. Obviously there are other tools that can be put to use, like a lighter, a butter knife, or even another beer bottle. If you’re truly gnarly, you can use your teeth. But, let’s face it, the traditional bottle opener has a simple elegance that just works. The trick is always having one on hand.

The same way that Portlandia revealed that anything can become twee if you just “Put A Bird On It”, a number of brands have discovered that the “Put A Bottle Opener On It” strategy can turn clothes and accessories into tools capable of prying the top off your favorite beer.

Here are seven brilliant style items that do double duty as bottle openers.


Reef

Reef

REEF FANNING FLIP-FLOP
$50, reef.com
Pro surfer Mick Fanning is a three-time world champion. But his greater contribution to society may be the addition of a bottle opener to the sole of his signature Reef sandal. Wear these and you’ll never experience the Jimmy Buffet lament of blowing out a flip-flop and stepping on a pop top again.

Courtesy Brewsees

Courtesy Brewsees

BREWSEES TEDDY K SUNGLASSES
$49.50, brewsees.com
We were already fans of tortoiseshell shades, so you can imagine our excitement at finding a pair that can also open bottles. The name may be a somewhat tacky homage to the late senator, but the glasses, with their polarized lenses and stainless steel openers, are a good mix of style and substance.

Courtesy Etsy

Courtesy Etsy

SUPERMAN RING
$75, etsy.com
Most guys only wear a ring when they get married. This may change things. The Man Of Steel ring has a bottle opener incorporated into the underside of the band (the side facing your palm) that renders the Kryptonite of an unopened bottle powerless.

Courtesy Yeti

Courtesy Yeti

YETI GUIDE BELT
$24.99, yeticoolers.com
Yeti produces some of the world’s greatest coolers, so it only makes sense that they also provide you with a way to open the contents of those coolers. The sturdy belt features 1.5-inch nylon webbing and a pass-through aluminum buckle with a church key subtly incorporated into the design.

Courtesy Woodthumb

Courtesy Woodthumb

WOODTHUMB SLIM WALLET
$38, woodthumb.com
In this day and age there is no reason to carry around a massive George Costanza wallet. A credit/debit card, a drivers license and some cash is all you really need. This clever wallet from Woodthumb serves all those purposes and one more, it opens beers. The reclaimed hardwood base gives it a solid feel while straps lock down your cards and cash.

Courtesy Seattle Mariners

Courtesy Seattle Mariners

SEATTLE MARINERS BOTTLE OPENER HAT
$24.34, ebay.com
The Mariners may not have the most stylish cap in the majors, but we have to give them props for this promotional hat. As part of its “Guys Night Out” event, M’s fans receive this cap with an opener built into the brim. It’s the perfect reason to go on a major league stadium tour (or just pick one up on eBay).

Courtesy Nite Ize

Courtesy Nite Ize

NITE IZE S-BINER AHHH
$3.99, niteize.com
Guys attaching bottle openers to their keychains is nothing new. But rather than making the opener a separate attachment, Nite Ize figured out a way to incorporate right into the design of its carabiner key ring. The S-shaped key ring has two gates that shut securely and either end can be used as a bottle opener.


Justin Tejada is a writer and editor based in New York City. Follow him on Twitter at @just_tejada.

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