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10 of the Best Moments From Trailer Park Boys’ Mr. Jim Lahey

In honor of Netflix resurrecting Canadian television show Trailer Park Boys for an 8th and 9th season, it seemed appropriate to try and catalog the drunkest moments of Mr. Jim Lahey — trailer park manager, former police officer and drunk bastard. Every season Lahey is determined to get degenerate trailer park residents Ricky, Julian and Bubbles busted for illegal activity, all while being absurdly wasted. No other TV character is as drunk or does as much “shit talk” as he does. And even though Lahey is always ridiculous in every episode, these are some of his finest moments. Prepare to feel like the most sober person, ever.

The Standard Lahey Chug
Season 5
Drunk Bastard Meter: 4/10
First off, no one can chug a bottle of liquor like Lahey can, literally no one. Bubbles can’t even comprehend it, especially after Lahey explains what a “shit hawk” is to him. Drinking like this is a skill only a certain type of man can master. And Lahey is one of them.

The Lahey Show
Season 6
Drunk Bastard Meter: 6/10
Lahey wakes up abruptly in a kiddie pool with Randy standing over him, informing him that he filmed him when he was drunk the night before and is fed up with his drinking. Randy battles with Lahey throughout the entire show to get him to quit drinking and it rarely ever works.

“There is another bag of white liquor, what did you do with it?”
Season 5
Drunk Bastard Meter: 9/10
Lahey is on one of his epic benders in season 5, when he spent all of his and Randy’s vacation money on cocaine. Randy hides the cocaine in his underwear and throws out the rest out the car window. Lahey then pulls over at a gas station and steals his underwear…

Lahey has to save the trailer park
Season 8
Drunk Bastard Meter: 4/10
In season 8, the park is at threat of being sold off. And in order to stop that from happening, Lahey has to sign over the one percent of the park he owns to Barb and Julian to save it from Cyrus. And of course, he does it completely Lahey-style.

“I am going to pretend to be drunk”
Season 7
Drunk Bastard Meter: 8/10
In some sort of twisted logic, Lahey thinks he will catch the boys doing something illegal if they think he’s drunk, but he will catch them this time because he is sober and can think straight. But really, he is actually drunk.

“Meet me in the VIP area”
Season 7
Drunk Bastard Meter: 7/10
The park attempts to throw a free liquor and dope party, and things quickly get out of hand when there is no bologna sandwiches and alcohol left. When Lahey is attempting to calm down Cyrus with free fried chicken, he does one of his best free-falls ever (and by the way the soap bottles are full of alcohol, the boys forgot to buy cups.)

“Liquor is more powerful than the peace treaty, Julian”
Season 7
Drunk Bastard Meter: 9/10
Bubbles is wanted by the FBI for stealing a model train worth $50,000 in reward money, and Lahey and Randy ambush the boys so they can steal the train and get the reward money. It is another liquor fueled Lahey plan and the boys call him out on it.

The elections for trailer park supervisor
Season 2
Drunk Bastard Meter: 7/10
Appropriately titled “Jim Lahey is a Drunk Bastard,” episode 2 of season 2 involves an election for trailer park supervisor, and the boys have to get Lahey sober and clean to get him re-elected for the position. Watch the entire clip—it’s worth it.

Propane, Propane
Season 4
Drunk Bastard Meter: 8/10
In order to transport a load of weed to sell at a Snoop Dogg concert, Ricky and Julian decide to steal a propane tanker and Bubbles get a fake license for it. Meanwhile, Lahey is off his rocker and tries to trick Julian and Bubbles to get them in trouble. But he can’t, because he’s blasted.

“I am the Liquor”
Season 5
Drunk Bastard Meter: 10/10
It’s maybe one of the greatest Lahey quotes (complete deadpan included), and it comes at a time when he is plotting with Randy the end of Julian, Bubbles and Ricky over a nice bottle, or two, of whiskey.

And even though Lahey is mostly a drunk bastard, he always end up having a heart, even with the booze, and he might be one of the true protagonists of the show. So drink on, Lahey.

Nicole Theodore is a digital intern at Playboy. Follow her on Twitter @nctheodore

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