If you’ve been wondering why Americans are so large, it could be due to the all-you-can-eat mentality buffet restaurants possess. To quote an accurate Reddit user, “I have taken two things from reading this thread: (1) Buffet restaurants are disgusting; (2) I wish I was at a buffet restaurant right now.” Greatness found here.
Dude came in for lunch buffet and ate a pretty good amount. Fell asleep in his booth for a few hours then ate buffet again for dinner.
SOME BALANCE REQUIRED
I watched a fight break out between a customer and a manager at an all you can stack restaurant (you pay for a plate, and you can take as much as you can stack on a single plate). Anyway this guy had his plate stacked about 12+inches high with food. As he was reaching for a serving spoon he dropped his plate. He demanded another and the manager got pissed and told him he shouldn’t have stacked it so high. He refused to give the man a refund, he pointed to a sign that said something about paying for dropped food. Apparently wasn’t the first time this had happened.
FARTS FROM FRIED FOOD
Once witnessed a man eat 4 plates of food piled high (I’m talking southern food, so it was all fried foods) claim he was having a heart attack and clutch his chest, then let the biggest, foulest smelling fart I have ever experienced.
After he laughed about it, he continued to go back and eat two more plates of entrees, and a plate of desserts.
THE BUFFET GUYS
I don’t work at a buffet, but I was that guy.
I’d been backpacking on the Appalachian Trail for a couple months (it’s a 2,100 mile hiking trail that runs from Georgia to Maine, along the US Appalachian Mountain range). Been eating nothing but ramen & instant oatmeal since Gatlinburg. I was getting hungry, OK? I was having dreams about meat. So my friend and I hiked down from the trail to this tiny town, Catawba, Virginia, that only has one restaurant, the Homeplace–All You Can Eat Fried Chicken.
We walk in. We sit down. A waitress brings us a platter of fried chicken and a basket of homemade biscuits. And whenever we start running low, she brings another platter.
It’s not like most buffets, where the food’s crappy and watery and sugary but at least it’s unlimited. No. It’s the best damn fried chicken I’ve ever tasted. Crisp and juicy and greasy and just perfect.
Me and my pal gorge on fried chicken. Eat at least 5lbs each. I’m starting to feel very uncomfortable, so when the waitress shows up with the next platter, I wave her off. She clears the table.
And then she comes back carrying a motherfucking blackberry cobbler. So we polish off the cobbler (it would have been impolite not to), pay our bill, grab our backpacks from the foyer & stand on the porch, contemplating the 1,500’ climb back up to the trail. And it becomes obvious that there is no conceivable way we are climbing back up to the trail tonight.
So I go back inside and ask the hostess if there’s anywhere to camp here in town, and she tells me, “you’re welcome to sleep in the gazebo out back.” Apparently, this happens all the time.
CHINESE BUFFET NIGHTMARES
Been working in a Chinese buffet for 6 years, here’s my top:
• Kid putting chocolate pudding in his plate, licked the big spoon used for pouring it (the one used by everybody), and put it back in the pudding… I saw him and had to change everything.
• Guy about 18 years old at the ice cream counter didn’t have time to react and puked in the ice cream cans and on the floor. Looked at it, said nothing, and just walked away back to his table.
• Drunk dudes coming in around 6PM, they ate full plates in like 20 minutes, and puked everything under their table. We had to move every client out of this big section (capacity of about 60 places) because the smell was so bad. I was the one that had to put a mask on to clean everything.
• Old lady putting a plate full of chicken wings in her purse (probably to bring back home or something)… No bags or nothing, just bare chicken wings directly in there.
STOLE ALL THE DAMN CRAB
I saw two guys get into a fistfight on crab leg night at the Chinese buffet because one guy stacked his plate about a foot high with crab legs and the other guy wanted some of them.
GET UNDER THE TABLE KIDS, TIME FOR DINNER
Lady came in with two small kids. Said she wouldn’t pay for two kids because they wouldn’t be eating. We were curious where the kids went at one point and found she was feeding them under the table like dogs.
LOOSE SHORTS DOOKIE
Golden Corral employee here…
Once this very big lady started shitting her pants on the way to the bathroom, the shit kept falling through her shorts on the floor… in front of the bars and everything and everyone… after going to the bathroom she proceeded to go back to her table and keep on eating. True story.