You know how in spy movies, in order to gain access to some super-secret underground headquarters, operatives must first get past a retinal scan? It’s essentially the same scanning technology your iPhone uses to unlock, right? Okay, now imagine unlocking something with your penis instead of your retina or fingerprint. No, I’m not writing about this because I just saw some long-buried deleted scene from Austin Powers. I’m writing about it because this technology was actually released today for the most ridiculous reason.

Adult entertainment webcam platform CamSoda launched its brand new biometric security feature, called “Dick-ometrics,” today, which allows users to access adult content via scanning their penises. In its first iteration, Dick-ometrics lets members log into their accounts by replacing a long-winded password with a dick pic. Simply upload a photo of your junk at log-in. For optimal security, CamSoda is recommending penises be photographed while erect, as they has “more differentiating qualities for verification.”

The reasoning for the technology is pretty absurd. The website alleges that scanning a penis is better than an eyeball or a fingerprint because of a penis’s differentiating qualities. Think size, color and veins. Also, penises aren’t exposed to the general public, CamSoda says, so they’re safer. “In order to ensure personal data is safeguarded against unwarranted individuals, biometrics have become progressively popular for its ability to provide a layer of security that is impenetrable,” CamSoda’s VP said. “With the launch of Dick-ometrics, we are taking things to the next level.”

Not so miraculously, CamSoda has a history with useless innovations. In March, the site launched O-Cast, a mobile feature they coined the “iTunes of oral sex for women” that allows users to record cunnilingus techniques by licking their filthy phones. Recordings are then available for download, which can then be used in tandem with teledildonics. They developed BlowCast as well, for the guys, which is the same thing, but for blowjobs.

In future iterations, CamSoda plans to develop more security methods that use penisprints instead of fingerprints. For example, one mock-up has users placing their penises on readers that can analyze skin composition and temperature, which adds yet another layer to security. But for now, a dick pic will do—something we’d never thought we’d hear someone say.