See, my problem with pouring champagne on babes at parties was always that it wasn’t cool enough. I just did it in classic cautious-dad-popping-champagne-at-dinner-party style. But now a champagne gun exists, so I’m probably good forever. It’s built like Super Soakers from back in the day, but you load up a magnum bottle of champagne, shake it up a bit, and then start nailing locals you want to see dripping wet in well-spent decisions.
Jeremy Touitou is the man you can address your thank-you notes to this Christmas season when you’re blasting the best booze on sexy people you work with at the company holiday party. He brought “the world’s first champagne gun” to Miami, a city that I didn’t realize until its invention has been in desperate need of champagne gun for decades (“Say hello to my giggly friend”). Invented by the French company Extra-Night and distributed by Touitou, this can’t not be in music videos now.
I only drink champagne when someone marries, dies, or invites me to brunch, but even I feel the need to constantly carry this thing around in case I ever need to start a party wherever I am within seconds. So long, past life of not being the life of the party! I’m about to be invited to everything from Labor Day block parties to the next Kim Kardashian nude selfie release blowout.
Priced at $459, Champagne Gun blasts 23 feet and comes in three finishes—gold, rose gold, and chrome. Do champagne-loaded guns work their way into the Second Amendment? Because then I totally realize why it’s such a hot topic.