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Fox Sports Host Charissa Thompson is Killing it in the Sport of Bikini Wearing


A photo posted by Charissa Thompson (@charissajthompson) on

Charissa Thompson, host of Fox Sports 1 and all-around dream package, is better than me at everything. She slays it on the red carpet (while I mostly blackout at parties), she looks good at all angles (while I look like a hipster vampire), she dresses like she was trained by every fashionista of the last century (while I dress like an unemployed lumberjack), and she glows like a hot blessing in a bikini (while I look like I accidentally wandered into the pool, even in board shorts). The point of all this is that Charissa Thompson is a wonderful creature who was sent to our world to force all of us to rethink our lives.

And so I have! First, I have to go to the gym apparently. Second, I’m pretty sure I need to chill out on my drinking. Third, I need to stop cutting my own hair. Fourth, I need somebody to buy me clothes or I’m going to keep wearing flannels that friends leave in my car forever.

Will I ever look like Charissa Thompson, the stylish angel that gave my life purpose (or will, once I learn how to be decent)? No, most likely not, as Charissa Thompson—I have to say her whole name like a prayer—carries herself with effortless grace while typing this much hurt my back. But maybe one day I too will look like I’m living in a lifestyle blog. Sigh. Until then, I’m just going to keep scrolling through Charissa Thompson’s Instagram feed while drinking bloody marys in bed.

Messy hair mood in Miami. (Now… Retiring M’s for the rest of the night) 🌴

A photo posted by Charissa Thompson (@charissajthompson) on

I’m clumsy ….#SagAwards #RedCarpet @extratv

A photo posted by Charissa Thompson (@charissajthompson) on


A photo posted by Charissa Thompson (@charissajthompson) on

Weaves induce laughter

A photo posted by Charissa Thompson (@charissajthompson) on

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