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Insane Soccer Fan Loses Bet, Gets Player’s Name Tattooed On His Ass

Jordan Anderson is a 21-year-old supermarket employee from the U.K. town of Sevenoaks (just southeast of London). Until recently, he was your average English lad, content to spend his days watching soccer, eating jellied eels, and writing love letters to the cast of the BBC show Grantchester (probably). But now he has a grown man’s name tattooed on his ass. How did this happen?

Via [CarrickB](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ellerslie_Road_Stand.jpg).

Via CarrickB.

Unfortunately for Anderson, he is a fan of the Queens Park Rangers Football Club*, the soccer team that came in dead last for the 2014 English Premiere League season. For American football fans, it’s the equivalent of being a fan of the Tennessee Titans or the Jacksonville Jaguars, with one major difference: relegation.

In English soccer, if you suck hard enough, they kick you out of the league. Imagine if the NFL told the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to screw off and play in the Arena League until they improved. That’s what happened to Anderson’s beloved QPR. And as you might imagine, teams that are relegated have a hard time keeping their best players.

Via [Brian Minkoff-London Pixels](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:CharlieAustinMay_2015.jpg).

Via Brian Minkoff-London Pixels.

QPR’s best player is Charlie Austin. Despite his team’s overwhelming crappiness last season, he was one of the top scorers in the entire league. So when QPR was relegated, fans were certain Austin would bolt for a better club.

“A move away from [QPR] seemed inevitable,” Anderson said via email. “I mentioned how excited I would be if he stayed and… said ‘If we end up keeping him by the end of the transfer window, I’d be so happy I’d get his name tattooed on my arse.’”

But as you’ve probably gathered from the headline, Austin stayed with QPR. And Anderson, being a man of his word, went through with the tattoo.

After posting pictures of his new tattoo on Twitter, Anderson’s ass quickly caught the attention of Charlie Austin (sorry, Charlie).

“I was glad that the man himself saw it on Twitter,” Anderson said. “I have met him in person on a match day before. He is a great guy both on and off the pitch, an honest and genuine man which can be hard to come by in modern day football.”

Now that Austin is staying put, Anderson is optimistic about QPR’s current season. And even if Austin is traded in the future (which can happen as early as January), Anderson plans to keep the tattoo “as a reminder of my love for the guy and my club.”

However, there was one issue.

*In the interest of full disclosure, I’m also a QPR fan. But since the only thing on my ass is acne, who cares?

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