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Chicago Cubs Baseball: A Timeline of Suckitude

The Chicago Cubs have finished another baseball season without a World Series title. So it’s only fitting to outline a thorough timeline of the most tortured franchise in sports.

The Cubs win their 2nd World Series title in a row. Team celebrates by riding Ferris wheel. They are clear favorites for “Team of the Century.”

001 chicago-cubs 1908

Wrigley Field Opens. Ballpark features state of the art communal “trough-style” urinals that still exist to this day.

Despite having league MVP Rogers Hornsby, the Cubs lose the World Series to the Philadelphia A’s. The series turns when the Cubs blow an 8-0 lead in the 7th inning of game 4 thanks to one of many dismal relief appearances from Antonio Alfonseca this century.

During game 3 of the World Series candy bar tycoon and famous alcoholic Babe Ruth calls his shot and homers into the right field bleachers. The Yankees sweep the Cubs in 4 games.

002 chicago-cubs 1932

Bar owner Billy Sianis brings his goat to Game 4 of the World Series and is told to leave. Sianis’ places a curse on the Cubs, saddling the franchise with years and years of steady profit.

Debut of Hall of Famer Ernie Banks. He will go on to play 19 seasons with the Chicago Cubs and never play in a single playoff game, thus earning him the nickname “Mr. Cub.”

Cubs blow a 9-game division lead in August after experimenting with having a black cat hit 4th behind Ron Santo during a crucial series against the Mets.

003 chicago-cubs 1969

Reeling from 1969 season, Cubs take 70’s off to focus on their music career.

After 65 years the Wrigley Family sells the Cubs to the Tribune Company in order to spend more time with the Doublemint twins.

Cubs make the playoffs for first time in 39 years. Despite a 2-0 series lead, they lose MVP Ryne Sandberg in the outfield ivy and drop three straight in San Diego. Sandberg is found during 1991 season.

Harry Caray’s Italian Steakhouse opens. The restaurant doesn’t serve its first vegetable until 2006.

004 chicago-cubs 1987

Among many other historical inaccuracies in the film, Back to the Future II promises hoverboards and a Cubs World Series title in 2015.

12 year-old pitcher Henry Rowengartner leads Cubs to their first ever World Series title.

005 chicago-cubs 1993

Cubs start season with a 14 game losing streak. End season on 147 game losing streak.

In the 8th inning of game 6 of the NLCS, with the Cubs leading 3-1, Dusty Baker replaces starting pitcher Mark Prior with little used reliever Steve Bartman. Bartman allows seven runs and the Cubs lose the series the following night. Immediately following game, Lands End sees huge spike in turtleneck sales.

006 chicago-cubs 2003

Cubs swept by Arizona Diamondbacks in NLDS.

Cubs swept by Los Angeles Dodgers in the NLDS.

Cubs avoid being swept in 3rd straight NLDS by failing to make playoffs.

Cubs lose 100 games in a season which is pretty hard to do if you think about it.

Cubs install a jumbotron so fans can enjoy replays of every one of Starlin Castro’s errors.

007 chicago-cubs 2013

Cubs hope to shore up a dismal offense by creating Clark, a pants-less mascot.

008 chicago-cubs 2014

With the Cubs focus solely on next year, they are swept by the New York Mets in the NLCS.

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