Heading to the drug store to purchase a box of Magnum condoms is a selfish luxury few men get to experience. At least that’s what I thought before stumbling upon some semiquestionable statistics that were released on National Sex Day. According to a report from online retailer goPuff.com, being well endowed is way more common than it’s scientifically supposed to be. GoPuff.com based their report on how many Americans buy Magnum condoms through its website. In case you’re unfamiliar, Magnum condoms are marketed toward hung gentlemen who often measure above eight inches. Basically, they’re for the dick we all wish we had.
According to scientific research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, only three percent of American men have exemplary, eight-inch-plus measurements. So you can understand my skepticism with this goPuff.com study. Basically, this here is a news post about no news, in that we’re concluding that men (gasp) stretch the truth when it comes to size.
The need to feel one has to lie about the size of his penis is basically in men’s blood. A recent study by condom-maker Skyn found that the average penis measures at a soldi 6.1 inches. But a 2015 study by King’s College found the average size to be an entire inch smaller.
Because the average penis size is commonly listed as 5.6 inches but women’s ideal size is 6.3 to 6.4 inches, some insecurity is expected. But less expected is that so many men are purchasing condoms that are way too big for them. That’s just asking for trouble, for multiple reasons.
One, you’ve wasted money on a what’s essentially a useless and ineffective product. Second, should you wear them, you voluntarily risk pregnancy or STD transmission because the condom is too loose. Last and most salient, it’s sort of sad.
Now that we’ve established how loosey-goosey these results are, let’s take this ranking of the most-hung cities in America with a grain of salt. By contrast, the only thing that should be gleaned is that this list literally comprises cities whose male populations purchase the most Magnum condoms in America on goPuff.com—whether necessary or not.
- Columbus, Ohio (82 percent)
- Denver, Colorado (73 percent)
- Chicago, Illinois (49 percent)
- Atlanta, Georgia (44 percent)
- Tuscon, Arizona (43 percent)
- Newark, Deleware (33 percent)
- Phoenix, Arizona (31 percent)
- Boston, Massachusetts (29 percent)
- Pittsburg, Pennsylvania (27 percent)
- Washington, D.C. (26 percent)
Listen up, ladies: aside from puberty, our penises don’t grow exponentially overnight, so the next time some guy tries to impress you, consider this: Recently, we compared a few studies to deduce that size averages reported by medical professionals are always more accurate than what guys say or think, since medical professionals actually measure penises with a ruler. Something else we leared: on average, men add an extra inch to their actual penis size.