Mandarin Oriental, Las Vegas, mandarinoriental.com
Price: $530-$620 for 1 hour 50 minutes
If a two-handed massage feels so amazing, four hands must lead to total ecstasy—right? This must be the calculation the folks at the Mandarin did. This treatment employs two therapists who work in harmony to scrub and massage your skin. At the end, you’re treated to a simultaneous head and foot rub. Speaking of multi-hand massages…

Grand Wailea, Maui, grandwailea.com
Price: $425 for 50 minutes
As if three pairs of hands weren’t enough, warm lava stones add to the relaxing effect of this treatment. Not to mention, this all happens against the paradise-like backdrop of Hawaii.

Ritz Carlton Central Park, New York City, ritzcarlton.com
Price: $725 for 2 hours
This massage has everything: two therapists, rejuvenating exfoliation, a hydrating wrap, and a full-body caviar massage. That’s right, you can pay someone to rub pricey fish eggs on your body. Comparatively, the Ritz’s Gentleman’s Retreat (which includes a facial, manicure and pedicure) seems like an absolute steal at $330.

Trump Hotel, Chicago, trumphotelcollection.com
Price: $300 for 90 minutes
Leave it to Donald Trump to dream up a massage fit for millionaires. The hotel’s signature treatment uses oils infused with rare flowers, as well as the essence of gemstones. Choose from diamonds, emeralds, rubies, or sapphires—each of which is thought to represent a different aspirational quality, such as balance, purification, and healing. Personally, we’re still waiting on the massage that involves a rubdown with Benjamins.

The Beverly Hills Hotel Spa, Beverly Hills, dorchestercollection.com
Price: $450 for 90 minutes
Get a taste of the A-list life. Nothing will make you feel like a celebrity quite like having your body exfoliated with diamond and amethyst powders and your face and hands treated with white caviar.

Cornelia Spa at the Surrey, New York City, corneliaspaatthesurrey.com
Price: $325 for 90 minutes
Take years off your visage with a multistage facial treats your mug with a seaweed and mud exfoliant, skin smoothing caviar, an oxygen mask, and stem cell treatment. Supposedly the caviar infuses your skin with nutrients and traps in moisture, while oxygen helps skin cells thrive.