There is no universal reason why people cheat, but according to new research from Dr. Ed, our motives can be sharply divided by gender (and fair warning, fellas: Our reasons are far more self-serving). But first, let’s address cheating in a general sense. This research has determined that, during the course of a relationship, one’s proclivity to cheat can reach as high as 25 percent from beginning to end. In total, up to 60 percent of people will cheat at some point in their marriage. Obviously, that’s more than half, a harrowing statistic that is far from romantic.

Of these cheaters, 60 percent admit their devious acts were a one-time deal. However, almost 70 percent are repeat offenders who’ve taken another lover more than once. But why do we cheat in the first place? We know it’s bad, immoral, and that it will destroy your partner–so why is this ever-pulling magnetism so strong? According to the sample, women are most likely to cheat when they don’t feel emotionally fulfilled, whereas men are opportunists who act on the immoral behavior should it present itself. But I’m generalizing. Here are the top five reasons cheater’s act on their immoral desires, divided by gender.

Women:
1. My partner stopped paying attention to me
2. The other person was really there for me
3. I was having doubts about my relationship
4. The other person was really hot
5. I was bored

Men:
1. The other person was really hot
2. People were hitting on me
3. I was having doubts about my relationship
4. My partner and I weren’t having sex
5. My partner stopped paying attention to me

As for where they found their irresistible side piece, these numbers are more homogenous. In fact, locations almost rank the exact same. Most people cheated with a friend (women: 41 percent, men: 33 percent). In second came coworkers (women: 33 percent, men: 29 percent). This was followed by randomly meeting someone in public (women: 18 percent, men: 29 percent), at a bar (women: 12 percent, men: 20 percent) and on social media (women: seven percent, men: seven percent). Surprisingly, websites dedicated to cheating, like Illicit Encounters, finished last among both genders (women: 0.3 percent, men: three percent).

After the damage had been done, only 58 percent of women claim they felt bad about cheating compared to 71 percent of men. Now that’s just cold; you should always feel at least a little bad. Always. As for the likelihood of being caught, genders were more or less the same in that regard. Nearly 60 percent of men and women kept their cheating a secret, while roughly 22 percent confessed their indiscretions. Conversely, around 20 percent found out about said infidelity through other means, which we imagine is a worst-case scenario filled with lots and lots of yelling.

Additional research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that, in heterosexual relationships, men are more hurt by sexual infidelity whereas women are most often harmed by emotional infidelity.

Evolutionary psychologists believe paternal uncertainty is possibly to blame, as men can’t always be 100 percent certain that they’re the father of their partner’s children, yet they can invest a lot of time and energy into raising them. This suggests all of the sexual jealousy could actually be a protective measure to ensure a Maury-adjacent paternity test doesn’t ruin your life. Women, on the other hand, are speculated to be hurt by emotional infidelity because these trysts may put the future of her offspring at risk, causing her to speculate whether he’s be willing to leave his family and devote emotional and material resources to this new woman. Both of these ideas seem a little sexist, but what can you do. All that we know for sure is, based on these results, the best way a man can prevent his partner from straying is to treat her right and give her the affection she needs. Which is the basis for any relationship. Men, on the other hand, are wild cards, and should maybe put their partner’s feelings before their penis.