At least three dozen Asian black bears—the ones who look like they’re dressed as Batman, pictured above—have been prowling through Russia’s far east Primorsky region, since Russia didn’t seem like a terrifying land of wicked wonders for a very brief instance.
Oh, in case you forgot, it was also Russians bears who treated graveyards like “giant refrigerators” a few years ago, so, you know, there’s that.
Luchegorsk, a town the Asian black bears are circling these days, has already been taken over by a pair of bears (a brown bear and a Himalayan bear), both of whom are huge, because of course they are. The town’s on lockdown, with sirens and loudspeakers blaring, instructing the population to stay inside, which is obviously everyone’s favorite thing to do right now anyway.
The bears have recently attacked several men, luckily without fatalities. But that still wasn’t enough for the bears, apparently, since they also went haywire on some bee hives, assumedly just to make themselves even more monstrous and powerful.
It’s like all of Russia is some supernatural villain who can control people’s nightmares. Their zoo animals are probably just tornadoes and bombs. How does anyone get anything done there?