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We Figured Out Why Eli Manning Looked Dead Inside When His Brother Won the Super Bowl

via GIPHY

Dude, what the hell, Eli Manning? Your big bro just locked his second Super Bowl win and you look like you just realized you’ll have to testify against some mafiosa ex-girlfriend. Bruh, you are a quarterback with two Super Bowl wins yourself, so you know how good it must fe—oh wait…no, this makes sense. All these years, everyone’s been “Peyton this” and “Peyton that,” and you had the more-rings angle on your dead-eyed android side. But now that Peyton’s got the same rack of jewelry, it’s a bleak future of shadow living, isn’t it?

Is that what you’re staring down in the dark recess of your crumbling empire? This brave new world’s light dims for you in the distance. The horizon’s getting blurry and the glory erodes away before you. DRAAAAINAGE, ELI! Did you think your song and dance would help you, Eli? Peyton is older and smarter; he is the Third Revelation! He drank your milkshake! He drank it up!

[GIF via Mashable]

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