The truth is, lip syncing is better than karaoke. Sure, while there’s equal opportunity for awkwardness, there’s simply no chance for screeching, squawking, or some murky mess of missed notes. And without worrying about nailing them melodies, performers can focus harder on how they swing their hips, pop their booties, and bust moves that’ll make your head and pants spin.
Allow me to direct your attention to the latest episode of Lip Sync Battle, which features Eva Longoria performing Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda.” It comes complete with an army of denim-shortted babes romping around the stage and Longoria herself humping the stage with a look that makes you briefly forget your middle name. Honestly, I don’t know what more you want from television. The final episode of MASH scored 100+ million viewers and there wasn’t a single scantily clad knockout flashing you her roadmap to buried treasure.
And that’s not all! For the low, low price of totally free, this episode also drops in Hayden Panettiere to mess up your heartbeat by performing “Lady Marmalade” as Christina Aguilera—which is so good that the real Christina Aguilera struts on the stage to keep your fever burning.
But the real winner of the night is Longoria’s ass and any eyes glued to it. See, in retrospect, that’s what MASH was missing, the backside of a desperate housewife.