There are a lot of characters in the six Star Wars movies released prior to The Force Awakens. Like, a lot a lot. And right now I’m going to rank the vast majority of them. It’s not everybody, of course, but at 223 entries, it’s still more thorough than any sane person would dare to attempt, certainly. Here’s part two.
165. THIS GOOBER (EP. II)
He may have solved Obi-Wan’s problem for him, but he still looks like a little dorkface.
164. THE NORMAL YOUNGLING (EP. II)
Nobody ever notices her because she just looks like a regular human. Good on her for being chill.
158-163. THE JEDI YOUNGLINGS ANAKIN MURDERED (EP. III)
Aww, now I feel bad.
156-157. FODE AND BEED (EP. I) The announcers for the pod race are mostly vanilla until Anakin wins, at which point they start dancing and chanting “ooh ah, ooh ah, ooh ah” and it’s super awkward.
155. THIS DUMB SCOUT TROOPER (EP. VI) You have to wonder if maybe the Empire would have won the Battle of Endor in Return of the Jedi had this dude not fallen for Han’s clever use of the classic “tap them on the shoulder to make them look the wrong way” trick.
154. IMPERIAL OFFICER WHO SAYS “FREEZE” (EP. VI)
Across the Star Wars universe, a lot of antagonist characters end up dead because they yell “FREEZE” at our heroes instead of just shooting them. This guy could have ended the war but instead he got knocked down into a power generator room.
153. STORMTROOPER WHO SAYS “FREEZE” (EP. VI)
You wouldn’t think Space Nazis would make this mistake so often.
152. MACE WINDU (EP. I, II, III)
George Lucas made Sam Jackson play a calm, conservative, boring Jedi. Egregious.
151. KI-ADI-MUNDI (EP. I, II, III)
Pretty much the only person on the Jedi Council who speaks other than Yoda and Mace Windu, but he never says anything interesting.
150. KIT FISTO (EP. I, II, III)
At least this Jedi Council member had the decency to not talk.
149. PLO KOON (EP. I, II, III)
Jedi Councilor who doesn’t talk and also doesn’t make weird faces because he can’t do facial expressions.
148. CAPTAIN ANTILLES (EP. III, IV)
This dude has two scenes: in Revenge of the Sith when Bail Organa gives him R2-D2 and C-3PO, and this one in A New Hope when he gets murdered. Maybe the rebels should have let somebody useful fly the Death Star plans around.
147. DOOKU’S PILOT DROID (EP. II)
Dooku is so old he can’t even fly his own damn ship.
146. CAPTAIN PANAKA (EP. I)
He was in The Phantom Menace but bailed on Attack of the Clones because he wanted more money. He dodged a bullet there, to be honest.
145. CAPTAIN TYPHO (EP. II, III)
He has an eyepatch and he smiles a lot, which means he’s automatically way better than stodgy ole Panaka.
144. MELEE (EP. I)
“It’s never gonna run,” she said about Anakin’s pod racer two minutes before he got it running. BURN.
142-143. WALD AND KITSTER (EP. I)
Anakin’s best friends, and huge dorks. Just look at Wald’s dance moves.
141. MAS AMEDDA (EP. I, II, III)
According to the IMDB bio for actor David Bowers, Mas Amedda’s line “This is a crisis!” in Attack of the Clones is “classic” in some way. Bit of a stretch imo.
140. QUI-GON JINN (EP. I)
Not a very good dad.
139. PREQUEL OBI-WAN (EP. I, II, III)
Ewan MacGregor gave it everything he had in all those scenes where he had to act against an empty room.
138. VERY SURPRISED IMPERIAL OFFICER ON CLOUD CITY (EP. V)
He’s positively SHOCKED that this very obvious plot twist occurred. Lando isn’t happy being a puppet ruler in his own town? No way!
137. TRADE FEDERATION OFFICER (EP. I)
Who am I to judge if you’re comfortable going to work looking like that.
136. HEAD-BONKING STORMTROOPER (EP. IV)
Aren’t you a little tall for a stormtrooper?
135. SIO BIBBLE (EP. I, II)
He whines so much, but never actually does anything.
134. THE FIRST PERSON TO DIE IN THE WHOLE SERIES (EP. IV)
A lot of characters have died in the Star Wars saga, but this stormtrooper was the first one we saw bite the dust. What an honor!
133. PONDA BABA (EP. IV)
He has a butt on his face so I had to put him in the bottom half.
132. CORNELIUS EVAZAN (EP. IV)
According to current Star Wars lore, this guy was a cosmetic surgeon. If you can believe it.
131. DORME (EP. II)
This character is just Rose Byrne standing around during conversations she isn’t a part of before she has a tearful goodbye scene with Padme when the senator goes into hiding. Then Dorme is never seen or mentioned again.
130. TUSKEN RAIDER WHO CELEBRATES BEFORE THE FIGHT STARTS (EP. IV)
This tactic worked against Luke Skywalker, Farm Boy, but you probably shouldn’t do it too often.
129. SENATOR E.T. (EP. I)
We don’t know if Senator E.T. voted to give the Chancellor emergency powers so I don’t really know if I like him or not.
128. THIS GUY WHO ALMOST GOT REKT BY A FLYING OBI-WAN (EP. II)
Ugh, that face. Looks like a few pieces of poop smashed together.
127. BEETLE DROID THING (EP. IV)
I’m sure this thing does something but I have no idea what.
126. SCARY CLOWN DROID (EP. IV)
We first see it in the jawa sandcrawler, and then he shows up again in Mos Eisley! Don’t think too hard about what dastardly deeds it must be up to.
124. THIS STORMTROOPER THAT OBI-WAN MINDTRICKED (EP. IV)
“These aren’t the droids we’re looking for” aside, this guy is OK. He didn’t kill anybody, and he didn’t get killed.
124. DAK (EP. V)
Dak, who rode in the backseat in Luke’s snowspeeder, is remembered best for saying, “I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself,” and then dying a couple minutes later.
123. AAYLA SECURA (EP. II, III)
She was was one of the Jedi given a showcase death during the Jedi Purge in Revenge of the Sith, though she mostly just stood around in the background before that.
122. AMIDALA/PADME (EP. I, II, III)
She had Jar Jar represent her in the Republic Senate when she’s out of town, which ultimately led to the creation of the Empire. Also fell in love with Darth Vader. Not like a super good track record there. Gets points for bucking the senate to personally lead a war party as a teenager.
121. Corde (EP. II)
She was killed while playing decoy for Senator Amidala. It was very theatrical and funny looking.
120. CHANCELLOR VALORUM (EP. I)
Hey, look, it’s cinema treasure Terence Stamp being completely wasted! I feel ya, buddy.
119. EV-9D9 (EP. VI)
EV-9D9 thinks the best thing to do with R2 is make it serve drinks.
118. BIB FORTUNA (EP. I, VI)
Jabba’s majordomo gets points for those sharp teeth and bloodshot eyes, but he’s kind of a turd.
117. TION MEDON (EP. III)
My favorite in the prequels just because, even though he’s pretty much a worthless character, he looks like he could be one of the Cenobites from Hellraiser.
116. CHIEF CHIRPA (EP. VI)
Yeah, he wanted to eat Luke and Han and the other rebels on Endor but just wook at dat pwecious wittle face.
115. SHMI SKYWALKER (EP. I)
She was a mom. She was as mom as they come.
114. WICKET (EP. VI)
Wicket is pretty boring, to be honest, but he was the first Ewok we met and legally I’m not allowed to make a list like this without him on it.
113. CLONE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS (EP. II)
Sitting in a giant cafeteria on Kamino with a bunch of dudes who look exactly like him, having weird feelings. Nice.
112. THE DROID THAT’S TORTURING ANOTHER DROID (EP. VI)
I never really understood this scene in Jabba’s palace, which is why that’s such a magical place.
111. GEORGE LUCAS’S JEDI SON (EP. III)
This teenage Jedi, played by George Lucas’s son Jett, pops up for five seconds to fight some clone troopers and then gets murdered. Classic George!