Jimmy Fallon: 20Q

Q1

PLAYBOY: Taxi is your first major film role since leaving Saturday Night Live. Many SNL alums have failed in the movie business. Are you worried you'll suffer the same fate?
FALLON: Yeah, I'm kind of nervous. Movies and TV are very different. SNL happens so fast. You come up with an idea on Monday, then you perform it on Saturday, good or bad. But when you make a movie, you have to wait a year before you even see it. You don't know how it's being edited or what it's going to be like. It's out of your control. I just have to remind myself that America is forgiving. You'll always get a second chance. An actor can do eight flops, and if the ninth movie is a hit, they'll call him a genius.

Q2

PLAYBOY: Unlike most of your fellow alumni, you haven't made a film based on one of your recurring SNL characters. On behalf of the entire movie-going public, we'd like to thank you for sparing us Jarrett's Room: The Movie.
FALLON: I never wanted to do that. I wanted the show to be one thing and the movies another. There should be a separation. I was a fan of all those SNL movies, but I never wanted to make one myself. It's tough to do an SNL movie. Right out of the box, people suspect the worst. I was happy that Mean Girls surprised everyone, because there was a lot of cynicism: "Oh great, another Lorne Michaels movie." He doesn't get credit, but the guy has really good taste in comedy.

Q3

PLAYBOY: For a guy with such a loyal following among the MTV set, you've been unexpectedly conservative in your film career. How have you resisted the temptation to make the big bucks doing teen sex comedies?
FALLON: I never wanted to do movies for the money or to be famous. I feel lucky if I'm offered any film roles at all, but I don't feel the pressure to say yes. All I ever wanted was to be on Saturday Night Live. Everything else is gravy. I don't need to do anything for money—which is not to say I have enough money. Definitely everybody wants more. I'm sure I could find a way to spend all that crazy Hollywood cash. I was thinking about getting an ambulance or a fire truck as my regular car. It would be a great way to get through traffic in a hurry. Nobody is gonna tell an ambulance to pull over. Are you kidding me? When I put my siren on, everybody would just get out of my way.

Q4

PLAYBOY: Your Taxi character is an undercover cop investigating a gang of hot female bank robbers. Based on your research, are most crimes committed by attractive, scantily clad women?
FALLON: Yes, surprisingly enough, but the media doesn't let you see that. It's a big cover-up. Most bank robberies—I'd say at least 75 percent—are committed by Brazilian supermodels.

Q5

PLAYBOY: In Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous, you play band manager Dennis Hope, who suggests that rock stars should retire before reaching middle age. Could the same be said for aging comedy stars?
FALLON: Yes, definitely. Sometimes they should retire even before that. I don't see myself aging well. I'm going to be the guy watching reruns of Saturday Night Live alone in his apartment, weeping softly while putting wrinkle cream around his eyes and self-injecting Botox. My living room will be covered with 8,000 copies of the Best of Jimmy Fallon DVD, because I'll be the only one who bought it. Most nights I'll be drunk in front of my mirror, slathering on cabaret makeup, ready to do another set for my empty apartment. That's my sad future.

Q6

PLAYBOY: Are you the product of overprotective parents, or did they let you run wild as a kid?
FALLON: I was very sheltered growing up. My parents used to make my sister and me wear football helmets in the backyard. We had an awesome swing set on a tree, and it would've been the greatest thing ever if it weren't for the helmets. People would walk by and go, "Look at the idiot Fallon kids." My grandparents lived close to us, almost in our backyard. They were watching my mom, my mom was watching us, and everybody was like, "Keep an eye on the baby. Don't let the baby cross the street." My mom is still that way. I got a Vespa at an awards show, and one day I took it over to her house to show it off. I drove it down the street, and when I came back my mom was in tears: "Don't ever do that again!"

Q7

PLAYBOY: At what age did you discover your talent for impersonations?
FALLON: I was two years old. I don't really remember it, but my parents have it on tape. My mom said, "Do James Cagney," so I said, "You dirty rat." When I was a little older, I liked to imitate people in my neighborhood. I'd hang out with this kid named Joey Gonzales, and when I came home my mom would start yelling, "Would you please stop talking like Joey?" I didn't even realize I was doing it. If I hang out with anybody long enough, I can do an impression of them. If I watched a Seinfeld episode, for instance, by the end I could do Jerry or anybody else from the show. You know how when you see Rocky, at the end of the movie you feel like fighting? It's like that.

Q8

PLAYBOY: Did you always want to be a comic, or did you consider other careers?
FALLON: I was obsessed with being a mailman for a while, mostly because they have the cool cars with no doors. And I love their uniforms because they get to wear shorts in the summer. That's not bad. I'd love to go through a drive-through in a mail truck. I also wanted to be a priest at one point. I really got into church and Mass and all that stuff. I'm Irish Catholic, so I grew up watching movies such as The Bells of St. Mary's and Boys Town, in which priests were looked up to and respected. I went to a Catholic grade school, so until I was 12 I seriously considered becoming a priest. But the girl thing kind of ruined that. That's the one bad thing about being a priest—you can't marry. I just don't have that kind of self-control.

Q9

PLAYBOY: You were a computer-science major in college. Were you poised to become a real-life incarnation of Nick Burns, the snide company computer guy you played on SNL?
FALLON: I got pretty close. But I switched my major in the fourth year because it was getting too hard. I had just finished Cobol, and I was going into C++. That's for the nerds out there. C++ is a really hard language. The biggest thing I wrote was a video-rental program. It allowed you to check in a video yourself, and it would automatically charge you for an overdue one. I eventually switched my major to communications but never finished. I spent most of my time studying comedy. My friend Frank Gentile and I would write stand-up bits in the laundromat of our dorm and drink 40s. We both loved Saturday Night Live, and we wouldn't allow anybody else in the room when we watched the show. We'd even kick out my roommate, just so we could really focus on it.

Q10

PLAYBOY: You're a major Pee-wee Herman fan, and you admit that Paul Reubens was one of your main inspirations. Is that because of the comedy or the public masturbation?
FALLON: A combination of both. As a kid I loved his movies and his creativity.Pee-wee Herman is such a great character. The idea of a guy who will never grow up has such an appeal to me. It's a nice, affirming message that I can really relate to. I'd be happy if I could write a character nearly as inspired as Pee-wee. As for the masturbation, it's been said before, but I'll say it again: Where is Paul Reubens allowed to masturbate anyway?