How mad would you be if you came home and caught your girlfriend having some personal time with her vibrator? According to a study from the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, most men woruldn’t care. That’s according to stats that 70 percent of men aren’t intimidated by vibrators.

But most women think these super-secure men are just faking it. Forty percent of females believe that their current male partner would not feel comfortable if he knew she was useing a sex toy. So what’s the truth: Are men more insecure about sex toys than they’ll admit? Or are men that confident in their love-making skills?

The good news is that no matter what side of the spectrum you fall in, you shouldn’t be intimidated by a woman’s use of sex toys, and especially phallic ones. That’s because sex experts say vibrators–no matter how technologically advanced they become—will never surpass human intercourse. What’s more, they say any addiction to automated sex is downright impossible.

“The term addiction is often misused,” Dr. Kat Van Kirk, a marriage and sex therapist and resident sexpert at Adam & Eve, tells Playboy. She says addiction is indolently used as a catch-all term for any reliance on behavior. "A true addiction would mean the behavior would negatively affect the person’s day-to-day life–going to work, being social, and so on–and using it to the exclusion of intimate live partner play.” She says there’s “absolutely no research” to indicate vibrators’ addictive properties, saying at an extreme that they’re more of a preference. That’s good news for guys, as preferences are easier to curb.

Vice’s Tonic first broached the topic of vibrator addiction by interviewing Nicolette Heidegger, a marriage and family therapist, who said that her clients often raise the question—a result of our collective 21st century fear that sex dolls, AI and other near-sentient machines could one day replace actual intimacy and intercourse between humans, as portrayed in Ex Machina and Her. But “the fact of the matter is that there is no empirical data to support the claim that you can become physiologically or biologically addicted to a sex toy.”

That doesn’t mean one’s use of sex toys can’t become a problem. You know the saying: everything in moderation. “If you use your vibrator for all of your orgasms, it can also be easy to get accustomed to vibrator-induced orgasms,” Heidegger said, noting that for many women, vibrators simply make climaxing easier and more routine.

"In almost 20 years of practice, I’ve never had someone say they preferred a toy to a live partner,” Kirk says. “There are just too many other benefits. Skin-to-skin sex helps release the feel good biochemicals oxytocin and endorphins. We are all wired to seek this response out for bonding and intimacy.”

If you are a bit intimidated by Mr. Vibe, you should familiarize yourself with more sex toys. Kirk says it’s often the mystery of what a partner does with the toy that invoke feelings of insecurity. “Sex toys are not meant to replace anyone. They can be used to expand and enrich both of your sex lives,” she assures. “There are many men who are tired of initiating everything sexual in their relationships. In fact, I’d argue it would be a turn-on for them to have their partner add something new. This might be the perfect opportunity to allow her to initiate.”

So ask her to pull out her favorite toy and have her show you how to use it. Then use it on her. Even better, shop for a new one together. Kirk recommends wand massagers, clit vibrators, g-spot vibes and/or penis rings. If it helps, pick a phallus that isn’t three times the size of your own. There are plenty couples’ toys that you can both get pleasure out of as well. It may feel like more of a joint venture that way.