Femme on Fire: Jessica Barth

By Michael J. Lockhart

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As we near the end of the year and begin to look back at the best films, girls and Femmes of 2012, the furry comedy *Tedstands out as one of most hilariously raunchy flicks we’ve ever seen and definitely one of the best of this year. To celebrate the release of Tedon DVD and Blu-Ray this week, we decided to pay a visit to Ted’s gorgeous girlfriend and our newest woman to watch for a primer on the finer details of living teddy bear/human relationships and how she copes with certain anatomical deficiencies. Introducing this week’s stunning Femme on Fire, the hilarious Jessica Barth.* Playboy.com: Tell us about your character, Tami-Lynn. What was it like playing the role? Barth: This is the most fun I’ve ever had playing a part. I read the script and I was like, “I have to play this girl!” Growing up in Philly, I grew up with girls like this—I mean, it’s a bit like this in high school, so I totally could play this part. As far as getting her character down, I watched a lot of Jersey Shore…[laughs] I took from JWoww and Snooki. The dialect was really important to Seth, so I worked a lot on that. I watched every Ben Affleck and Matt Damon movie that was filmed in Boston. Playboy.com: *This is your breakout role; you must have been pretty excited to work alongside Seth MacFarlane, Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis. *Barth: Huge fan! I’ve been a huge fan of Marky Mark since The Funky Bunch…and his Calvin Klein ads. [laughs] I was like, “You used to hang on my wall.” I had to pinch myself on set. Playboy.com: How did Seth take part in scenes? Was Ted a CGI green ball or an actual stuffed bear on set? Barth: We would rehearse with a “stuffie”—stuffed animal—and then when it was time to film they would take it out and continue to film. What made it work was that Seth was off camera wearing the CGI suit—which would capture his movements—but he was in character every single take. We could hear him but not see him. Playboy.com: So the scenes where you and Ted are getting down…you’re just there by yourself pretending this toy is ravishing you? Barth: [Laughs] Yeah, that was pretty challenging. For weeks I was telling Seth, “How are we going to do the sex scene when there’s nothing there? Am I just going to be on the table, spread-eagle, with nothing on?” And he’s like, “No! On the floor!” [laughs] So that was hilarious to shoot, and we didn’t do the sound effects when we filmed it. So we were in the studio at Family Guy pretending to have sex. Sexual moaning sessions—we were purple by the end of it. Playboy.com: So in character here, what’s a normal day with a teddy bear boyfriend? Barth: Well, we wake up and start drinking right away. I’d say we’d have sex numerous times throughout the day and party at night. The perfect relationship. [laughs] Playboy.com: Most complicated part of the relationship? Barth: *He doesn’t come with a certain appendage…so we have to be really creative. I think he was going to sue Mattel for not giving him a penis. But we made it work; I’m all about pleasing my man…bear. [laughs] We had a make-out scene, and the full cut didn’t make it into the movie. But you literally have to be making out with nothing, and it was easier to have sex with nothing than it is to make out with nothing. “How does my mouth go? Do you want tongue here? Do you want to see my tongue? What’s happening?!” It was a little challenging. Like at the grocery store, Seth’s in the microphone, “Okay, Ted’s miming fellatio.” It was a lot of fun, awesome challenges. *Playboy.com: Lightning Round. What is your favorite: City: Philadelphia. Drink: *Vodka. *Food: Cheesesteaks…I’m so healthy. Playboy.com: You really are a Philly girl. Barth: *[Laughs] Oh yeah, I’m here now so that’s probably why this is on my mind. *Dream Ride: What?! [laughs] Playboy.com: No, we didn’t mean that… Barth: I mean, I was going to say Mark Wahlberg. But he’s married to his gorgeous wife. Guilty Pleasure: Mark Wahlberg…no! It’s the TV show Revenge. Embarrassing Moment: I peed my pants in third grade in Catholic school. I can’t believe I’m telling this to Playboy. Secret Talent: *Writing…it’s so lame. Script writing, poetry…I don’t show anybody, but it’s really good. [laughs] *Playboy.com:** What’s next for you? Barth: Hopefully the sequel, which hasn’t been announced yet…hopefully. I’m actually writing a funny autobiography. I just did Parks and Rec, as well as an independent film I’m not allowed to talk about yet. Playboy.com: What was your first Playboy? Barth: I don’t remember my first Playboy, but I do remember my first Playgirl *was Brad Pitt. [laughs] But for *Playboy, my boyfriend at the time had a collection by his bed. I was like, “Oh yeah, no pressure! I’ve got to look at Jenny McCarthy in bed.” But eventually we moved them under the bed.


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