Not all of us can just burn down the building like Milton in Office Space after we get our Swingline stapler taken from us and we are banished to the basement cubicle. These people were not nearly as patient as poor ol’ Milton and couldn’t even last a day. Find more terrible coworkers here on Reddit.
You Know What, Stan, If You Want Me to Wear 37 Pieces of Flair I did! I got hired at Applebee’s and they told us we had to refer to our coworkers as “Applebuddies”. I rolled my eyes and laughed (it was funny the way the dude said applebuddies so happily) and they asked me if I thought that Applebuddies was funny. I said yes. They asked me to leave.
Worth it! His last job, he was driving cars from where they were dropped off to where they were sold at auction. He was driving this really nice BMW sitting at a stop sign at the base of a hill. Semi truck carrying logs loses its brakes and slams him at 50+ mph. He then proceeds to t-bone another car while still getting pushed by the semi. Him t-boning the other guy knocked him out from in front of the semi and into another car which had seen what was happening and slid to a stop. The semi went over the hill and landed in the creek at the base.
He got cut out of the car then airlifted out (along with the driver of the semi and the passenger of the car he t-boned) and when he called his boss (after emergency surgery) the boss fired him. He sued the hell out of the company for wrongful termination and he’s been living off the money for 3 years.
When You’ve Been Given the Keys to the City At orientation, they told the twelve of us that we were the best and the brightest of 900 or so interviews they’d conducted. We got our access badges and our corporate Amex cards.
One of the “best and the brightest” went to a high-end men’s clothing store on his lunch hour and purchased four thousand dollars worth of suits, ties and shoes.
He came back from lunch and bragged of his exploits. Fired on the spot. He actually thought his Amex card was a job perk. “Can I at least keep the clothes?”
Physical Ejection I was a pizza delivery guy at a family owned Italian restaurant. They brought a guy in to help make pizzas. Two hours into his training he starts talking about wanting to bang the waitresses. The waitresses were the daughters of the owner. The guy teaching him how to make the pizzas was the older brother. He was physically ejected from the building.
Not THAT Casual, Bro 16 year old kid was fired during his first day of training because he came in wearing a shirt that just said ‘BITCH’ across the front in giant letters. I mean, I know we have a casual dress code, but…
That’ll Get You Slapped I worked in a pizzeria and there was a new driver who was starting. He took his first delivery and when he can back there were no deliveries up so I told him that in between he would have to do dishes and clean. He replied “That’s a woman’s work, I don’t do women’s work”. And…..you’re fired.
Foot-longs Only A guy was fired from the Subway I worked at on his first day after the manager found out that he repeatedly turned away customers who asked for six-inch subs since “we only had foot-long bread.”
Smiles and A Pregnancy Super hot girl was hired at Dicks Sporting Goods. She started at 10AM and was fired at 2:30PM along with a guy for banging in the stock room. They both left with smiles on their faces.
GTFO Someone ordered a Taco without meat, I told them to get the fuck out of my drive through and order stupid shit like that inside the store.
Never worked fast food again.