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Now There’s a Fitbit for Your Most Important Bit

Hey, look, now there’s a FitBit for sex, because of course there is.

Lovely, Inc., has launched an IndieGogo to fund the development of a new wearable device called (surprisingly) Lovely. Not only will Lovely track the amount of calories burned and time spent in the thralls of lovemaking, the app it’s connected to will suggest new positions and monitor your sexual performance over time or with different partners.

This product is still a long ways off, but offering apps a chance to measure your sex life is now a thing businesses want to do. The Independent noticed that buried in Apple’s iOS keynote yesterday was a mention that Apple’s new “reproductive health” systems will allow users to track ovulation, sexual activity and use of protection to assist in fertilization and promote greater sexual health.

We’re still in the early days of sexual health tracking, but we could soon be living in a world where our devices make us better lovers and synch up with our instant hook-up apps.

Worried about this future? Don’t be. You can rest assured none of your sexual data will ever be stolen by Russians or siphoned off by our own government because those things have never happened ever before on the Internet.

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