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A Florida Man is Trying to Solve Our National Toilet Balls Crisis

A Florida Man is Trying to Solve Our National Toilet Balls Crisis: Wikipedia


Vladimir Laurent, an insurance executive from Coral Springs, Fla., has earned a patent for an invention that he says will prevent a major issue for men: Toilet Balls.

If you haven’t heard of Toilet Balls it’s because you’re a normal human being who lives a normal life; toilet balls is what happens when you have “genitals so enormous that they fall in the toilet when you’re taking a dump.”

Apparently there are dudes with sacks so big, they ended up teabagging their toilets every time they go number two. Or maybe they just have really tiny toilets.

Laurent has created a device that will “prevent the male genitalia form touching the walls of the toilet while in use.” Here’s a picture of the device.

Warning, this picture is ridiculous:



Laurent came up with the idea after getting tired of his balls constantly touching toilet water. So basically this guy has gigantic testicles and let the whole world know by making a patent.

Then again, maybe this is just an unusual problem that I’ve never heard of because I do not have abnormally sized gonads and a toilet with adequate levels of bowl depth. Laurent claims this happens to a men everywhere, which really just brings this clip from Arrested Development to mind:

Joseph Misulonas is an editorial assistant for He gets paid to write about ridiculous stuff like this. He can be found on Twitter at @jmisulonas.

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