When you think “internet message boards” you don’t tend to think of athletic prowess, but one Redditor decided to put that notion to the test. So here are some examples of the best sports trash-talking heard or said by the athletes of Reddit.

1. Do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Player on the other team: Hey, you aren’t wearing a mouth-guard!
My teammate: Yeah, your mom loves it when I don’t wear protection.

2. The Original Hatfield-McCoy Rivalry

I went to a small Christian high school and we played a Jewish school at football. They weren’t in our league so we had a pre-season game them for the first time my Sophomore year. Their pre-game chant went something along the lines of, “We killed Jesus! We can kill you too!” I was slightly horrified but I couldn’t stop laughing because it was kind of clever. Ironically, we beat them by quite a big margin.

3. Imagine Dikembe Mutombo reading this one


4. Isn’t there a test they need to take?

During a basketball game the other team had a center standing in the lane for the entire possession. A fan yelled at the ref, “that’s three seconds!” My coach turned to the fan and said dead panned, “He can’t count that high.”

5. Not technically trash talk, but effective

Our football team would shave their legs and sometimes wear ladies make-up to freak out visiting teams.

6. If only his last name was Racecar

I’m a pretty regular looking soccer player. Athletic but not muscular, average height don’t have a silly haircut or any abnormal body features and I’d played a pretty solid game. So the crowd was pretty quiet as I walked up, I could just tell they were trying to pin something on me. My jersey number is 22, not really something you can call someone out on (unlike unlucky #13 or something). So they said, “Your number is a palindrome!”

7. Worst blackmail ever

This was a soccer game and it was getting real intense. Ref gives an absolutely bullshit red card. Guy yells out, “Fuck you ref I know where you buy your tacos!!!”

8. At least he’s not Mediterranean

At a Jays’ game and one of our outfielders, Colby Rasmus, was playing particularly bad. The old timer behind us started throwing insults, the most memorable one being, “IF YOU WERE A MONOPOLY SPOT, YOU’D BE BALTIC AVENUE.”

9. Why? Just why?

"That guy chooses to eat Turkey Bacon!”

10. You’re already in water, so it’s not that bad

I played water polo through high school and college. A good friend was on the team, and a bit crazy (in a good way). She used to whisper in the ear of the people she was defending: “I’m peeing on you.”

11. He must have a really good “wrist shot”

Was playing ice hockey and we had a real smartass on our team. In this league girls were allowed to play as well and this team had two scary big girls on their team. This guy on my team got a penalty for tripping and yelled, “Hey ref you might as well call those girls for this high stick they gave me too!”

12. Back handed compliments can be de-moralizing

I did hear a hockey player tell the opposing team’s goalie “YOU’RE MODERATELY SUCCESSFUL, O'BRIEN!”

13. Good for the heart, and other things

“Your wife tastes like honey nut cheerios.” – Kevin Garnett