It’s that time of year again - the time where we talk about all of the funny folks on Twitter. Last year’s list was unbelievable but this year’s may be even better.
The rules are the same. We chose the funniest up-and-comers on Twitter.com who had a consistent timeline of hilarious one/two/three liners. And of course, they have to be real people. No parody accounts or accounts that just steal material. We don’t take kindly to thiefs.
So, without further ado, the funniest Tweeters of 2015.
50. Dan Duvall
The first of many Dans to make the list, Mr. Duvall is a Canadian with a delicious selection of hilarious tweets.
Kids your mother and I are getting a puppy. Whoops I mean divorce. There was a puppy on the TV so I accidentally said puppy sorry about that— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) October 10, 2015
Ceeks blasted onto the scene in 2015 and came strong all year long. And she’s one of the nicer people on Twitter.
DORA: “What was YOUR favorite part?!”— ceeks (@70Ceeks) May 3, 2015
DORA: “I like that part too.”
48. DAN POLISH LAST NAME
While his Polish last name might be a mystery, his skill at making people laugh is not. (Also his last name isn’t that much of a mystery by the way.)
Lunch! Let’s see what mom packed. Hope it’s not just a note that says I’m a punk ass buster. Ok it is that note again tomorrow is a new day.— Dan Polish Last Name (@danjan13) July 23, 2015
47. THE NATE WOLF
Many people think Nathan gets along on looks alone. Not so. He also is extremely adept at making funny jokes.
Telescopes probably use mirrors which means there is absolutely no way to know how many vampires there are in space.— Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) June 22, 2015
Since I’m an idiot I didn’t follow Viney until halfway through the year. Luckily I can go back in time and read all of the hilarious jokes I missed, like this one:
[Pastabot 2000 attempts to hand me another bowl of pasta] Jesus christ not now Pastabot— vineyille (@vineyille) April 26, 2015
45. ANDY RICHTER
You know about Andy. You’ve seen his face. You’ve heard him talk. Now read his jokes.
Man: sports— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) May 7, 2015
Other Man: sports, too. we are friends
44. TRIBAL SPACE CAT
Her tweets are magnificent and her talent undeniable.
PILOT OVER INTERCOM: alright folks, by a show of hands, who has ever made a small and understandable mistake?— hannah (@TribalSpaceCat) October 18, 2015
43. IT’S ABBY. YEP
Abby is a dedicated to making you laugh and obviously very dedicated to correcting her mistakes from high school.
Realized I never said “unquote” after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I’ve said since is Shakespeare— It’s Abby. Yep. (@abbycohenwl) March 23, 2015
42. OLLIE GARCH
Ollie uses Twitter to the fullest. Somehow he sets up entire scenes with multiple characters and multiple funny parts in only 140 characters.
[packing for holiday]— Ollie Garch (@ojedge) September 3, 2015
WIFE: U don’t have to only put suits in a suitcase
ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don’t make the rules Karen
41. MANDA LIKEWINE
Amanda likes wine. That much is clear. But she is also a big fan of creating hilarious and relateable tweets.
Son, your father and I have something to tell you - you were adopted. Your new parents are waiting outside in the car.— Amanda (@Manda_like_wine) March 1, 2015
40. RAD KYLE
Kyle is Canadian but we won’t hold that against him. I mean, yes we will but he’s so funny that he made the list anyway.
Opinions are like assholes. I shared mine on the internet and strangers got mad at me— Rad Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) September 18, 2015
39. JOE WEST
I’m a new fan of Joe West which means I’m a moron and missed a whole lot of jokes that I should have been laughing at throughout the year. His timeline is just fantastic.
DATE: I’m leaving— Joe West (@joejwest) July 9, 2015
D: You keep pretending to be a bat
M: I don’t
D: You’re doing it right now
[a single tear rolls up my forehead]
38. LADY BROSEPH
What’s not to like about Lady? Seriously let me know, I’ve been trying to dig up something unlikeable about her since 2010.
*drives motorized scooter into meeting I’m late for, around the conference table, and out the door*— lady broseph (@ladybroseph) August 5, 2015
37. KENDRA GARDEN
Kendra is a hilarious writer for almost every publication known to man and it shows.
Kids, the 90s were great. There were free postcards in coffee shops & free drugs in clubs & no one took a photo of anything ever.— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) March 6, 2015
36. SAM GRITTNER
Sam is an amazing guy and an amazing joke-writer. If parody accounts were allowed, his account @TonightOnGirls would be on the list as well.
POLICE OFFICER: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 19, 2015
ME: “Because you know I love riddles.”
35. SEAN LEAHY
There are a lot of Brits on this list and Sean is one of the funniest. Why aren’t you following him yet?
“How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?”— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) January 13, 2015
384 my liege
“Ok, round them up”
400 my liege
34. BRANDON MCCARTHY
Brandon is slowly making his way up our list. Last year he was #49 and he deserves every spot he’s moved . He’s one of those athletes who becomes your favorite pitcher just because of his Twitter account.
After having surgery:
thles pani pills are'nt havin any eff=ect at al;/ claer th*inking is me and motoor sskils is very greats— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) April 30, 2015
33. HIPPIE SWORDFISH
I can’t tell you how many people recommended Hippe Swordfish to me this year. And rightly so. (By the way I could totally tell you but I’m not gonna.)
ME: isn’t this great??— local badboy, (@hippieswordfish) November 3, 2015
WIFE: not really
ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what’s wrong
32. RACHELLE MANDIK
Rachelle is a hilarious writer from New York who deserves a lot more followers than she has.
—You a private eye?— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) October 27, 2015
That’s what the blue neon sign says out front.
—It’s argon. Neon glows orange.
V.O.: From the start, she was trouble.
31. GEORGE WALLACE
I’m sure you’re familiar with George, I mean, who isn’t? But perhaps you’re not familiar with his Twitter, which is a mistake.
Whoever Granny Smith was she was good as shit at apples. They don’t name apples after people unless they were good as shit at apples.— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) March 15, 2015
30. ELLE OH HELL
Elle blasted onto the scene last year and I noted last year that she had 6500 followers. Now she has nearly 18,0000. There’s a reason for that…
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.— Insignificant Other (@ElleOhHell) February 21, 2015
29. RANDI LAWSON
Randi was, of course, on last year’s list and she is, of course, on this year’s list. Up a spot in the countdown, Randi Lawson everybody!!
The key is to have just enough apps so when you finish checking them all, enough time has passed that you can check the 1st one again— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) April 1, 2015
28. DANIEL KIBBLESMITH
Daniel is a writer on The Late Show and it “shows” ha ha. He’s also the author of one my favorite tweets of all time:
Check out this screencap of some idiot on a dating app who reached out to me through the lonely void, fearing this outcome above all others.— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) June 14, 2015
27. GHOST MOM
Have a look at this tweet. She’s a beaut ain’t she?
Son, it’s time I told you about the Applebirds and the Applebee’s.— ghost mom (@radtoria) August 21, 2015
*pumps a mozzarella stick through an onion ring until we get kicked out*
26. BOB VULFOV
Bob burst onto the Twitter scene this year and has accumulated more followers than any of us could probably imagine. If there were a newcomer of the year award he would be at the top of the list.
[me training a new employee on how to use the paper shredder]— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) February 23, 2015
This fuckin robot eats our secrets
25. DAVID HUGHES
David has always been a Twitter juggernaut but somehow he still seems underrated.
[phone rings]— David Hughes (@david8hughes) June 8, 2015
“We need u to come pick yr son up from school.”
“Ugh. Whats he done now?”
“Nothing. Its nearly midnight.”
24. METH LAB FOR CUTIE
Kira is an LA resident who is very funny and friendly and funny. She’s been funny forever but continued to be funny this year as well.
without moms we’d have no password security questions. thanks mom, for making online banking possible— Meth Lab for Cutie ☠ (@kiralc) May 10, 2015
23. ROB FEE
Rob is the king of the internet. He seems to write for everyone and show up everywhere and do everything. Somehow he has the time to be funny on Twitter as well.
Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo.— Rob Fee (@robfee) April 11, 2015
22. RUINED PICNIC
He writes tweets about bees. That’s what he’s known for. He’s the bee tweet guy. Make sure you mention it to him when you see him, he loves it.
[Sees bee on my wife’s arm]— josh (@ruinedpicnic) February 16, 2015
[I roll up a newspaper]
Babe.. stay still..
(using newspaper as a megaphone) THERE’S A FUCKING BEE ON YOU
Murrman was #1 on last year’s list and he continued his funny throughout 2015. He stopped tweeting in September though and I’m mad at him for that so he’s #21 this time.
“when people say different color bell peppers taste different”— brent (@murrman5) July 29, 2015
[doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically
20. KEET POTATO
Keith is one of the most consistent Tweeters on the list. To clarify I mean consistently good, not consistently bad.
[ordering cake over phone]— k e e t (@KeetPotato) June 8, 2015
“and what would you like the cake to say?”
[covers phone to ask wife]
“do we want a talking cake?”
19. BAT KAREN
I was late to the Bat Karen party but I’m glad I finally showed up. If there was a biggest gainers list she would be near the top because she’s accumulating followers like something that accumulates stuff really fast.
“This isn’t helpful at all”— batkaren (@batkaren) May 26, 2015
- Alien watching To Catch a Predator
18. BRIAN GAAR
Brian did a whole lot of things in real life in 2015. He hosts a show on television, released a standup special, and invented not one but two types of working time machine. Pretty impressive for someone who’s also one of the funniest characters on Twitter.
Well son, when you were a baby the internet and your mom’s yoga teacher told us that vaccines were bad. Anyway sorry your legs don’t work.— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) February 6, 2015
Jaz is a British type person who likes spiral hams and long rides on elevators. Sorry, I mean lifts. He’s also had sex allegedly.
After grandpa’s unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family.— Jazmasta (@jazmasta) March 23, 2015
16. ROB WHISMAN
Rob is a no brainer for any funny tweets list. He’s one of the most creative thinkers out there and knows his way around a visual joke.
ready for— rob whisman (@robwhisman) September 8, 2015
cool weather 💁🏽
leaf piles 🍃🍂
scary movies 👻
clothes that shield the grotesque contours of my awful body 🙌
15. DAN MENTOS
Dan writes tweets that make you say “God damn it Dan” and then hit the retweet button.
*airplane makes really loud noise*— dan mentos (@DanMentos) January 16, 2015
*pilot on intercom* what the fuck was that
14. DAN O'BRIEN
So many Dans on this list! The highest rank Dan seems to fly under the radar but when he does show up in your timeline you’re always happy about it.
[Dog Restaurant]— Dan O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) April 15, 2015
“Is the Book Report any good?”
“How’s it prepared?”
A 9yo stayed up till 3am to finish it.
“Ooh, I’ll have that.”
13. DANI FERNANDEZ
Okay this is getting ridiculous with the number of funny people whose names start with Dan-. Well anyway, Dani is a lovely comedian who destroys Twitter with a barrage of laughs.
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s vomit on his sweater already. WebMD: TYPHOID FEVER— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) January 6, 2015
12. BLIND CHOW
There’s a debate as to whether his avatar is a cat or a dog but either way Mr. Chow has me as his #1 fan. His tweets are always easy to read and always funny.
[breakfast in hell]— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) July 18, 2015
STALIN: Toast is burnt
POL POT: Eggs are rotten
HITLER: I hate the juice
STALIN: Oh here we go
HITLER: I said JUICE
11. PAT TOBIN
Pat is a hilarious tweeter and a hilarious comic-maker and a hilarious human being all around. He jumps ten spots in this year’s list because he is 10 spots funnier than last year.
When parents say to kids “go to ur room & think about what you’ve done” it’s really good practice for what you’ll do every night as an adult— pat tobin (@tastefactory) September 18, 2015
10. MAURA QUINT
And now we bulldoze our way into the top 10 funniest tweeters of 2015. What better way to start than with Maura, who is never short on funny and thought-provoking tweets.
My 1 yr old only says the words “no,” “mine,” and “bye” and I tried it out and it turns out that’s actually all you need.— maura quint (@behindyourback) March 28, 2015
Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.— maura quint (@behindyourback) November 2, 2015
9. ONLINE HIPPO
The purple hippo had a moster year on Twitter. There’s no question that this hippo will crack the six digit follower mark in 2016. He’s that good.
Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no— Hippo (@InternetHippo) March 28, 2015
What should we call this giant advertising board?— Hippo (@InternetHippo) April 6, 2015
PHIL: A philboard
BILL: I have a better idea
8. PIXELATED BOAT
No one was recommended more in 2015 than the pixelated boat. He was most certainly the newcomer of the year and I can’t be the only one who is looking forward to his sophomore season. Don’t fuck it up boat.
11.45: Arrived at crime scene— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) June 13, 2015
11.45: Examined body. Signs of a struggle
11.45: Found murder weapon in drain
11.45: Realised watch was broken
Office morale has increased noticeably since we put a tarp over Dave’s body— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) May 31, 2015
Chuuch is nearing 100,000 followers and knowing his proclivity for the hilarious, he will probably reach that benchmark by year’s end. He’s just a great tweeter who only idiots wouldn’t follow.
hello 9-1-1? my girlfriend’s been kidnapped— chuuch (@ch000ch) March 4, 2015
“stay calm sir, what’s ur girlfriend’s name”
oh she goes to another school u wouldn’t know her
Romeo: check out this cat video— chuuch (@ch000ch) November 21, 2015
Juliet: omg dead 😂
Juliet: i didn’t mean literally dead
6. MIKE GINN
Coming in at #6 on our list is the wonderful Mike Ginn. He made some big leaps this year, moving from Seattle to Los Angeles and moving up 18 spots on this wonderful list.
my favorite animals at the zoo are just the random birds walking around like they belong. Go home pigeon, this is fancy bird town— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) April 30, 2015
When I ask you something that I could Google it’s because I like you and want to hear how you explain it— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) June 20, 2015
5. JOMNY SUN
Jomny is the genius who posted a fake Will Smith fact and had a bunch of idiots telling him that they already knew it. It’s that kind of thing that makes him completely different than anyone else on this list. A good kind of different.
A-B-C-D-E-F-G— jomny sun (@jonnysun) July 25, 2015
“um why did u say phosphorous”
becuase its the… EL-EM-ENT-AL P
hey sory i just saw this mesage u sent last month even tho all my notifications make sounds and my phone is in my hand even when im sleeping— jomny sun (@jonnysun) October 7, 2015
4. TARA SHOE
Last year I said Tara was criminally underfollowed and I’m not sure if that will ever be not true.
birds can make their homes in tall treetops and soar at great heights and pigeons are like no thank you i will commute by foot to home depot— tara shoe (@tarashoe) July 13, 2015
ME: i’d like to get rid of all this— tara shoe (@tarashoe) January 29, 2015
PERSONAL TRAINER: you’re just making like one sweeping gesture around your entire body
ME: and my head
3. AUDREY FARSNWORTH
Audrey is the kind of funny that makes you sad because you could never be that funny. She’s a one-of-a-kind tweeter and obviously a comedy genius.
What do you mean, “I need space,” are you okay oh my god do you need me to come over and bring space— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) February 7, 2015
NOW HIRING: An employee— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) February 19, 2015
JOB REQUIREMENTS: 96 years experience already working at this job you’re applying for
2. SAGE BOGGS
Sage jumps 44 spots on this year’s countdown and he deserves it. He doesn’t f around, he just brings the funny early and often. I’m predicting 2016 as the year of the Sage.
pope: love all— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) September 24, 2015
*he serves a tennis ball right into the crowd*
boss: you’re fired— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) April 12, 2015
mime: oh right
This wasn’t even a particularly difficult choice. I look forward to each and every one of Snorklhuahua’s tweets and he’s a must-follow for each and every person in the universe. Last year he was supposed to be on the list but he deactivated his account because he wanted to ruin my list but I’m happy to report that he’s back and better than ever.
My life is just like a Disney movie, one time I ate spaghetti in an alley— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) March 6, 2015
I say potato you say potato, another guy says potato, everyone starts chanting potato, the potato meeting was a huge success— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) May 31, 2015
Matt is the senior humor editor at Playboy.com. He apologizes if his opinions don’t line up with yours. You can yell at him (or praise him?!?) on Twitter: @mattsurely.
Mike Primavera (@primawesome) was on the original list but he deactivated his account the day before this list was produced.