Best Funny Toasts For A Night Of Drinking

By Wes Van Horn

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Before any night of drinking, it is customary for someone to offer a toast. But what should you celebrate? “To good friends and good times.” Generic. “To working hard and partying harder.” Lame. “To World Peace.” Impossible pipe dream.

For anyone looking for a good toast, we’ve compiled a list of some of our favorites. Now you can spend more time and energy on what’s really important: Getting plastered.

1. Rawbamatic

May our sons have rich fathers and beautiful mothers.

2. Shaysdays

"To... The Batmobile!"

3. OklahomEnt

To Hell. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there.

4. Kanyesbathroommirror

This one's dedicated to them girls that let us flop around on top of them...

5. Comax

Here's to you and here's to me.
The best of friends we'll ever be.
And if we ever disagree,
Well, fuck you and here's to me.

6. CityOfChampionsBosto

I drank to your health in company.
I drank to your health alone.
I drank to your health so many times,
I nearly ruined my own.

7. Orabrooch

Here's to milk, eggs, bread and cinnamon.
That's a traditional French toast.

8. MalevolentMerc

To rattlesnakes and condoms, two things I never fuck with.

9. Gelectrode

Here's to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.

10. TroutMcGout

Life is a waste of time,
Time is a waste of life,
So let's get wasted all the time,
And have the time of our life!

11. Mayonays

To panties! Not the best thing on Earth, but next to it.

12. Dwolfe

May we get what we want, but never what we deserve.

13. Sushimanj

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

14. Llamabacon11

To virgins and lesbians...Thanks for nothing.

15. Defiantcanadian

Here's to staying positive and testing negative.

16. Nuprodigy1

If vodka was water and I was a duck,
I'd swim to the bottom and never come up,
But vodka's not water and I'm not a duck,
So pour me a shot and I'll shut the fuck up.

And finally,

17. Lumberjake18

Here's to that long straight piece in Tetris.


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