Before any night of drinking, it is customary for someone to offer a toast. But what should you celebrate? “To good friends and good times.” Generic. “To working hard and partying harder.” Lame. “To World Peace.” Impossible pipe dream.
For anyone looking for a good toast, we’ve compiled a list of some of our favorites. Now you can spend more time and energy on what’s really important: Getting plastered.
May our sons have rich fathers and beautiful mothers.
“To… The Batmobile!”
To Hell. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there.
This one’s dedicated to them girls that let us flop around on top of them…
Here’s to you and here’s to me.
The best of friends we’ll ever be.
And if we ever disagree,
Well, fuck you and here’s to me.
I drank to your health in company.
I drank to your health alone.
I drank to your health so many times,
I nearly ruined my own.
Here’s to milk, eggs, bread and cinnamon.
That’s a traditional French toast.
To rattlesnakes and condoms, two things I never fuck with.
Here’s to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.
Life is a waste of time,
Time is a waste of life,
So let’s get wasted all the time,
And have the time of our life!
To panties! Not the best thing on Earth, but next to it.
May we get what we want, but never what we deserve.
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
To virgins and lesbians…Thanks for nothing.
Here’s to staying positive and testing negative.
If vodka was water and I was a duck,
I’d swim to the bottom and never come up,
But vodka’s not water and I’m not a duck,
So pour me a shot and I’ll shut the fuck up.
Here’s to that long straight piece in Tetris.